She'll be comin' round the mountain

We have new friends coming to mesh with us for awhile.

This crew will be here for two weeks. This crew will be here for ... oh, I don't know ... two months? They don't know either. That's why I love me some Happy Janssens.

There are still so many ways to get this dern double wide done. Four million walls to paint. Broken sofa legs. Still plenty of dead bug carcasses stuck to various walls from what we can only assume was some sort of hurricane or flood before it became a repo. Bathroom floor partially peel-n-stick tiled (some are slowly floating away from the others because they don't have a neighbor ... like they're trying to escape). My bedroom has become the catch-all of the things which should be more in the "office" area, but that area is so teeny, they are at the foot of my bed (the foot-o-the-beddy-office-area). Areas of this place are quite whickity-whack (how does one spell, "whickity-whack" anywho?).

Yet these two gals who are coming ... ahhhhhhhhh. They are so very yummy. They do not care. But then again, they do. They care about what is real and breathing. I will ask them to add to my decoupaged fireplace. Why on earth would I finish it now when I can forever see their handiwork in it?



Um, yeah. I'm totally decoupaging my entire fireplace with my old Seventeen magazines, and whatever else we can chop up and glue on. If that surprises you in the least little bit then, seriously - how long have you been reading me? Christine is cutting up magazines and gluing them ... to her WALL. And the sky is blue and dogs bark.

So, how did I get ready for the arrival of two delightful additions to our little community out here? We spent the day creating. The kids were outside painting. I was inside cutting and wadding material. It was SO FUN, and every inch of it was recycled.



Oh, how I love people. Come out for a visit. The more, the merrier. Bring a funny word from a magazine and glue it to my wall. Sure, there are safety hazards everywhere, but if you sit really still I promise you won't die.

Everyone has a story

One of my greatest lessons learned:

Know that everyone has a story.

If you disagree with someone or find them hurtful or offensive or they trigger any major feeling inside you ... be purposeful in asking.

Do not merely listen to their story.

Hear it.

Let it change you.

This has radically altered my life. It has brought much complication and pain, much joy and happiness. It has forced me to trade understanding for judgment and kindness for anger.


Please get very good at it so you can remind me, when I forget.

Magical Milk Pic-o-the-Week

"I am especially proud of our breastfeeding relationship because I fought so damn hard for it. My son was in the NICU for three weeks after he was born due to meconium aspiration. For the first week or so of that stay, he could not be fed anything by mouth - his lungs were so scarred and his breathing so labored, the doctors were scared he would aspirate if fed by mouth. So out came the (manual) breast pump and, boy howdy, you better believed I pumped those suckers dry. Every morning, I would take the milk from the previous night, pack it in a cooler and make the 1-hour bus trip to the NICU to drop off my kiddo's nummies for the day. We would hang out together for 8 or so hours and then I would hop back on the bus for another one-hour ride home and the process would begin anew. When he was finally well enough to be fed by mouth, we had a really hard time getting him latched on. I have flat nipples and my boobs are on the, er, larger side (as you can tell in the first pic - he was full-term and a normal-sized baby and my boobs just dwarf him), so it was really difficult for him to get them in his mouth. So I continued to pump. The pictures I am sending are of some of the first times I was able to get him successfully latched on and eating."

(photo by Bria who is still breastfeeding her boy - he is now 19 months old!)

Dear Darleen T.

I'm a little embarrassed to be writing to you like this and hope you don't find it forward. You see, I am one of your biggest fans. I realize you probably do not even know who I am, but I absolutely think the world of you, and hope to meet you some day.

I'm assuming you are WAY cooler than your daughter. ;)

Sincerely,

Christine

The beauty of women

Nine women converged on Orlando.

We took a chance.

The vast majority of us have either never met, or only had very limited contact via blogs and email.

I could never describe our differences. It wasn't until I actually arrived that I could appreciate the insane risk we all took in coming to this place. Backgrounds, beliefs, personalities, histories ... all so diverse.

And yet ...

We have laughed til we wet ourselves and we have cried til we purged some massive pain (okay, so the pain is still there but we had a safe place to share it!). We all parent children with special needs. We all have something to give and we have all needed our souls to be fed by one another. It was serendipity at its most magnificent.

Please, do not wallow in jealousy that you weren't here ... because you were. We all really did understand how we represented this entire village. This weekend allowed us to put a tiny blip of it in flesh and blood and simply solidify what we have all wanted to truly believe - we. are. not. alone.

I really wanted to write a little blurb on every single woman. I started to. However, each blurb kept turning into a novelette. I can't limit my thoughts. They are exploding and spilling out of my ears right now. I'm trying to figure out how to bottle my joy so I can sniff it as needed.

Again: you were here, too. Trust me. We talked about you. We longed for you and hurt for you. We also laughed for you and peed our pants a little for you.

Cause we're fancy like that.

See the rest of you next year, but for real this time, K?

Florida rundown - Saturday

* Corey started her tattoo series this afternoon. Her daughter's art. SO beautiful and special. Each character will represent a marathon she has run.

* The house just got quiet for a whole twenty seconds. That was WEIRD!

* I love these women. I seriously love, love, love these women. This was like a giant blind date, and we are all letting out a huge sigh of relief. We're very happy with the set up.

* It is amazing to be with women who can hear some of your most uncomfortable experiences/feelings as a mother, and instead of showing shock, they are all nodding in agreement. It is freeing. I AM NOT ALONE!

* Laura is friggin funny. She is the cheapest entertainment I have had in years. She's also my roomie, so I get All Laura - All The Time.

* Kellie - another of the chics who actually blogs - is beautifully psychotic. Stick her on your feed reader. Send her some love.

* All of them - ALL OF THEM - are treasures. Absolute treasures. We are a cooky, eclectic mix of women. It's beautiful. A magical mix. Sharing and encouraging and laughing and ... well ... having those really nutty discussions which can only happen when you put women together with free time.

* We're doing it again next year. Mark your calendar. You WILL be here.

Goodnight Moers Crew

In the great double wide

there was a flight itinerary

and a mocha brew

and you can picture it now --

twenty movies in the Netflix queue

a child with a glare sitting in a chair

and two noisy boys with 1,000 Lego toys

and a smaller one about who was starting to pout

and the oldest of the girls who was combing her curls

and the best mom in the world making green smoothie swirls


goodnight mocha brew

goodnight Moers crew

goodnight twenty movies in the Netflix queue

goodnight glare and

goodnight chair

goodnight noisy boys

goodnight Lego toys

goodnight one about

goodnight pout

goodnight girls

goodnight curls

goodnight world

goodnight smoothie swirls

goodnight Texas

goodnight cares

goodnight suckers everywhere




cause tomorrow I'll be in Florida!

"Your children are SO polite."

I hear it all. the. time. "Your children are SO polite."

Seriously. I have kids who have raged and destroyed and peed and cussed and done all sorts of crazy cake stuff. Yet, when we take those children to a sit-down restaurant, almost every time we hear, "Your children are so polite/well-behaved."

Tonight as I was walking back from doing some gardening, I introduced myself to one of our park guests. She said she wanted to meet me, just to make sure she was able to tell me how polite my children are. "They will come right up to me and talk. Kids just do not do that anymore."

Of course, I absolutely have one child who still has an itch to charm and triangulate. However, she is never allowed to converse with new people unless she has a parent or older sibling with her. It has given her GREAT accountability to know we will call her out on manipulation. So, she gets to practice just ... being who she really is ... figuring that out.

That helps me, too, to understand and know exactly what this lady meant. My kids say hello. The boys are crazy shy. Yet, they know to be polite. They wave. They ask, "How are you?" They answer when someone asks them the same.

How on EARTH do I do it? For those of you NOT asking this, it's because you've already figured it out. For the rest of you, here goes:

First, I expose my children to lots and lots of people of all ages. It is the way we have always done things. It's more than just grandparents. It is stopping to have a conversation with someone at the store. Visiting people in their homes. Taking a gift to a neighbor. Sitting at the nursing home and reading to residents. Chatting it up with the mailman. My kids get really excited when people come over, whether it is other kids, their Aunt, our semi-retired neighbor, or the 80 year old down the road. It's just how we roll.

Second, I have always tried to not ask my kids for more than they are developmentally capable. My first born could not handle more than 20 minutes at a restaurant for years. Come to find out, she is the one with Tourettes. When she was done, she was done. She would then feed off my stress. I listened to her and let her teach me early on what she needed. We sometimes had a babysitter. We sometimes took turns eating/walking with her outside. We many times just chose places which were really noisy already, with lots of other kids. Or we stayed home and invited others to join us there. It was for a season, and it did change. That child is now my most naturally polite, thoughtful, and social. Go figure.

Third, when my children are able to sit for 45 minutes to an hour at a table and enjoy a meal out, I have a very simple rule. You are either strong enough to sit with your siblings, or you are needing some strength building time between/next to mom and dad. When you have five siblings, the LAST thing you want to do is sit by your parents when everyone else is at the end of the table playing a story game. Can't handle yourself at the grocery store? That is not a problem. Holding on to Mom's hand or the grocery cart will help you with that ... even if you are a tween. Rocky called my bluff one day. Got lots of hand holding love the rest of that shopping trip. Never. happened. again.

I am also a lover of the Talking Time Outs. Sometimes we just get carried away. That's cool. Just means our voice could use a bit of a rest. "Why don't you give your voice a rest for about five minutes. Thanks. I'll let you know when you can try again." Talking Time Outs work everywhere - especially in the car.

When we added more children to our home, we would talk openly about how to show the world around us kindness and love through our actions. Before we entered a restaurant, we discussed how everyone would enjoy hearing their conversations, and some adults need an even more quiet atmosphere when their hearing is compromised. We had those conversations each time until we started to notice the manners and out-pouring of love and kindness coming more naturally from our children.

Because that's the point, isn't it? I do not teach my kids to have good manners in public so I can be praised. Seriously? You all know what we battle at home. When I experience kindness and consideration, it brings me warmth and joy. When a waitress compliments the kids' behavior, I say, "Did you see her face? Did you see how much joy you brought to her?" THAT is the heart of manners. Some etiquette is highly overrated, and much more about clout and status and rules. However, kindness, thoughtfulness, consideration ... those are gifts to the people around you.

It is an ongoing process. We still have to remind several of our kids to look at the waiter or waitress when ordering and speaking to them. We do plenty of teaching, correcting and Talking Time Outs along the way, on the days they get carried away. Now that all of our children can handle eye contact without melting like the Wicked Witch of the West, we discuss the importance of sharing your heart with others through your eyes when speaking with them. Of course, we also keep it all in balance. When Mar has worked very hard at making good choices while we are out and about, and it is obvious she is needing to just let down her guard, we work with her. We do what we can to help her out and make it easier to succeed when we are in public. If the six-year-old is tired or ill, we dance with it. We don't try to make her something she is not in that moment. Sometimes we will change the plan for one of us. Sometimes we will find a compromise.

See that? Showing manners and kindness and consideration to one another in our own family.

It takes balance with lots of communication.

Oh my goodness, how we all enjoy each other more because of it.