Thursday, September 06, 2007

I want to eat

Today is one of those days that people just assume never happens with some of us.

I'm a healthy body weight. Yet, I'm only this way because I wake up every single day and stay on top of my eating.

Today I want to eat. I want to eat a lot. I want it to be fattening and chocolatey and really sweet, and I can't think about anything else.

I've cried a few times, because even staying busy doesn't take the cravings out of my head. I'm a binge eater, and today I'm craving that type of eating. I can eat a lot (A LOT) without feeling too sick, especially sweets. I want to gorge myself. I can eat an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting and still think I'm hungry. I can eat an entire box of cookies ... still think I'm hungry. It's not hunger - it's all of the emotional and psychological reasons behind why I overeat.

It's miserable. Maintaining a healthy body while battling emotions is hard work, especially on days like today. You have to face all of the reasons behind your eating habits if you want to be consistent. And me, well, I'm an overachiever when it comes to those issues.

*sigh*

7 comments:

Mama Podkayne said...

Christine, I had your blog in my rss feed and then DH moved our website or some such and I had to redo my goodle home page. Now I can't find the rss feed?

Amanda said...

I'm that kind of eater too... I feel your pain. And I'm always teetering on a the line of obsession about it. Pregnancy has definitely helped, but I totally know what you are saying. Seeing your vacation pictures though is very inspiring! You look so healthy!

Christine said...

Hey Mama,

I popped it back in, down by my archives. Hope that works for you!

Kristin said...

Hi Christine,
You seem quite experienced and knowledgeable on the subject of breastfeeding (I've been trying to figure out how to email you, so I'm not ignoring your post...I think it's incredibly disciplined of you to even recognize that you are not hungry for food). My son is 7 weeks old and I just want someone to tell me honestly, does it ever stop hurting? I know that everyone says that it is the latch, the latch, etc. But, I've had lactation consultants tell me that his latch is okay. I've fought yeast, I'm fought cracking. I'm not going to give up, but even though they are healing, they still hurt (especially after a marathon like last night, 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, you get the picture). And while my nipples hurt the worst, my whole breast hurts after feeding (that's "refilling", right?)
Thanks so much! This is such a frustrating field of medicine. I'm not really sure whom to ask and I can tell you with certainty (I'm a med student) that they don't teach ANY of this in medical school.

Christine said...

Kristin -

My email's an open book :)

christinemoers@hotmail.com

Send me a quick note and I'll write you back and send you virtual hugs and boobie encouragement!

Christine said...

Just FYI, Kristin, the first place I will point you is to Dr. Jack Newman. He's a pediatrician that actually specializes in breastfeeding! (he's an anomaly!)

Anywho - here are all of his articles on nipple/breast pain. Start there and see if there are any tips that will help you out!

http://www.drjacknewman.com/
index.php?option=com_content&task
=view&id=69&Itemid=96

If that doesn't work out, copying and pasting, just go to www.drjacknewman.com, click on Breastfeeding Help and then Sore Nipples Handouts!

Liz said...

It's such a blessing to know that I'm not alone with my crazy eating and that it can be conquered. :-)