Saturday, November 03, 2007

Balancing "Mommy" and "Red Hot Lover"

Let's talk about sex, baby (I heard that! Which one of you said it! I very distinctly heard, "Ah man - NOT AGAIN!!").

I was about six months pregnant. The migraines, depression and lowering libido were already starting to weigh in. My friend Susan (mother of three children, ages seven and down) was visiting with me one day. I used to soak her up like a sponge. I wanted to glean all of the mommy mentoring I could muster.

"A lot of moms are very anti-TV and anti-videos. Yet, we can pop in a Veggie Tales video, run like the wind, and have some uninterrupted sex!"

At the time, I didn't want to have ANY sex, much less uninterrupted sex. I decided that Susan was a sex-crazed nut. She was still my friend and all. I would just humor her on the sex advice.

Recently it dawned on me: I've turned into Susan! I finally discovered that switch - the Mommy/Lover switch that I figured I had somewhere. It still gets stuck now and then, and a few times a year it actually shorts out. But I'm learning how to do the repairs myself. I'm thinking of painting the faceplate hot pink ... or black. A very shiny lacquered black.

And speaking of sex (check me out - flipping my switch!)...

When did you last talk to your kids about it? Has it come up recently? No? Well, bring it up! For about two weeks I realized we hadn't had a good solid conversation on the topic in awhile. So, I have brought it up over the past few days, and today we read through - you guessed it - "Where Do Babies Come From?"

Is it the easiest thing in the world to talk about vagina's and penis's and sperm and breasts and balls while cuddled up on the couch with your kids? Not the first time. Not the tenth time. But the 400th ... yeah, it's not such a big deal anymore. So, if there's not even one conversation under your belt, you best get moving. You're missing out on all the fun!

"Mom, why IS there pubic hair, and why is it curly?"


Shannon said...

YIKES!!! Run away! Run away! You are a sex crazed nut!! ;) Maybe someday I too will become enlightened and change my name to Susan. But not today Zurg. Not today!

Hillary said...

AURGH! I just installed an update to my realplayer, and after it was done, it started playing the last song it played.

"When I take a bath
I think about the Lord!
And how he washed away my sins
Let me tell you more...
Jesus fills me up with hope
And washes me with SUPER SOAP!!!"

Man, I had only just gotten that dang thing OUT of my head, and now it's back. BACK, I tell you!

I blame you.

Sara said...

I'm so scared that if I become mama I will lose all sense of's hoping I can be more like Susan!

LeeJo said...

I actually really enjoy those talks with my daughter, but I need to keep a running log, someday we can read it aloud and really laugh!

Melissa said...

The hits your gonna get to your site from searches..that's all I can think about right now.. LOL

That's why I don't type out v*gina and p*nis like a normal person anymore. You already know how I feel about talking about sex, funny I should decide to visit you and see this post up. Good for you! I just flipped my switch this week actually. ;o) after a stall.

And for the kids, I guess I talk about it enough here and there informally. I'm not quite the mom on meet the fockers, but we've had some interesting dinner time discussions. :o)