Monday, April 07, 2008

Adoption Update #1

We're in a little bit of a holding pattern right now. With all the running back and forth to Texas, we knew it was not a good time to trudge forward (and the state was happily flying us through the process). So, right now is a brief haitus, of sorts.

In the meantime, I am devouring the book "The Connected Child" (recommended by my super amazing adoption guru friend, Adela!). Just wanted to say that every single parent should read this book.

"It's gold, Jerry! GOLD!"

And you'll look at it and see that it's directed at kids with attachment issues and wonder what I'm thinking ... because your kids are fine! Well, the info is valuable for kids with attachment disorders, but it's also just another wonderful kick in the patootie for parents. I'm hearing so many Love & Logic approaches, as well as things I've learned over the years through foster care training.

My children, of course, get to be my guinea pigs as I rediscover my patience and thoughtful parenting. It has been a phat reminder that I have slipped right out of so many wonderful approaches to discipline and understanding and seeing beyond the behavior to find out what is hiding underneath.

"Hear it again, for the very first time!"

So, I'm implementing some new things and old things, when lo-and-behold, I have seen significant changes in my five-year-old. Imagine that! Could it be that I had slowly allowed myself to join in her power struggle over the last many months? Could it be that I had started to care more about her not driving me nuts instead of connecting with her?

With my head hanging, I admit it. Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes.

Good book. Grab yourself a copy. If you have a child with an attachment disorder, then do it yesterday.


CC said...

thanks for the recommendation. I'll put it on my library list.

Amie said...

Being connected instead of joining the power struggle sounds awesome...will check it out! Thanks!

Lee said...

Thanks Christine!! I've requested this from the library. I talked to Keith on the weekend and we are going to go ahead and apply to be foster parents!! So this will be a good prep! :)

Summer said...

You do know that my must-read list is already a mile long, right? At this rate I'll need a computer chip implanted in my head so whole books can just be downloaded. LOL