Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sharing the mother love

It's wonderful being a mother, even when it's painful. One of the things that comes with adoption or foster care, is allowing your children to love ... everyone ... anyone they choose to love.

A few years ago, I took my youngest child to spend two nights with her birth mom, her first mother. It just so happened that we would be moving sometime soon. We didn't know exactly when, and we didn't know how far. Our daughter was still at an age and stage where she was totally comfortable, and wanted to do an overnight. The only weekend that we could make it work with our schedule and J's schedule ... was Mother's Day Weekend.

I didn't think twice about it. I got a lot of big eyes that Sunday. A few, "You are so selfless!" comments. People couldn't believe that I would "share" her ... on Mother's Day, of all weekends.

Share. Selfless. Heh. I get her every single day. It was the ultimate selfless act and gift of sharing that brought our daughter to us.

We've had children in our home that love their first families - even when they have hurt them ... neglected them ... refused them. We let them love. We don't judge or question. They can love one day and despise the next. They have that freedom in our home. I protect them from any twinges of jealousy that I may experience, because their need to feel their love and express it far trumps my own needless insecurities.

Also makes me stop and reflect on Mother's Day. I mess up a lot - as a wife and a mother. Yet, I see children who have suffered much more than many children will ever be able to comprehend, and still they have love for that person.

My children love me.

Even when I totally screw up - they love me.

Even when I'm selfish - they love me.



Leann said...

Happy Mother's Day my friend!!! (((HUG)))

Amanda said...

Happy Mother's Day Christine! I know your kids are proud of you!

beth said...

Yeah, I know the feeling. Wow, indeed.

Happy Mother's Day, Christine!

Amie said...

You are so great. =)

Laura said...

Awww, Christine, you went and made me cry!! What you wrote is just true, and so beautifully written. Thank you.

marigold said...

Christine, I'm a birthmom and wanted to let you know I understand how hard it is sometimes to incorporate your kids' relationships with their birth parents into your life. I applaud you for doing so. You can check out my blog for more of my opinions on the subject.
There is also something called "Birthmothers' Day" which is the Saturday before Mother's Day each year. A day when we can be celebrated for making the decision to place our children in the loving and welcome homes of their adoptive parents.
Happy Mom's Day!