Friday, June 27, 2008

A little bonding

Yesterday was a rough one in our world of trauma behaviors. I have read how important it is to modify touching and hugging when our kids are in the midst of their greatest fear (anger). That would be yesterday, in general.

So, I'm realizing that one of them has not completely worked through their anger (they're so kind to make it obvious), and it was nearing 8:00 pm. One hour to bedtime. Not good. I looked up and it just so happened the whole family was congregated in the living room. TIME TO READ! I grabbed the chapter book we've been working through (Maniac Magee) and spent the next half hour feeding their brains and softening their hearts.

When I got to a stopping point, the entire energy of the room had shifted. I had not yet done any specific cuddling/bonding time with them (reread paragraph #1). I was trying to think of something out of the box, that would encourage eye contact, but be a little more active (yet not too much, seeing how it was almost nighty-night time). I know that one of the Theraplay activities is having your child put stickers on your face. Yet, today was going to have to be different.

Hmmmm ... what can I do to connect with these kids in a fun way before bed?


I drug out all of the girls' nasty, cheap, little-kid make-up and let them both take turns on me. It was quite hysterical to see them try to spend a lot of time on my eyes (thus, me having to close them, thus no eye contact). Yet, I can wink with the best of them. There was lots of physical touch, hand to face. There was tons of laughing (all at my expense). There was a butt load of eye contact. There was silliness, silliness, and more silliness. There was also some pretty raw, sensitive skin after two major washings back-to-back.

And it was worth it.

Gee, you don't think they had some aggression to work out yesterday, do you?


Noah Bear said...

LOL. Oh my gosh, Christine. That's hysterical. You look like ready to go trick-or-treating.

Will have to check out Brenda's blog, now.

And thanks for the tips you left the other day. Will email you privately for more suggestions! Leslie

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Christine, You are such an awesome mommy!!!

Shan said...

Good stuff Christine! My boy will love that sticker bit. Probably the makeup part too but def. no mascara! And, has your kid load caused you to shrink? You seem tinier all the time. Is it a Reactive Attachment Diet. You don't have to answer. I'm just funnin'. xo

Christine said...

The Reactive Attachment Diet! That's hysterical.

Actually, after reading stuff from other moms, I'm in the beginning stages of the diet - too busy to overeat. However, that is supposed to merge into the next phase, where you gorge away the depression and frustration (ya' know the "angry & hostile!"). Apparently, the second stage is long-lasting.


califmom said...

Great job meeting them where they are, and getting everyone's needs met. With humor! Change is so much easier when we're laughing.

dreamingBIGdreams said...

i love it!

Brenda said...

You are awesome.

angie said...

You are the best mom!!!