Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How the pastor's wife had sex every day for a week

I hear you. I read the emails. Really, I do!

Yes, my husband I and were intimate seven days in a row. Heck, just getting to five was a new record for our 13-year marriage (or four - we're still disagreeing on that point). Even that little streak was a one time thing.

I thought I should clarify a few things. Some bullet points to help you understand we are not nympho's and we are not above average.

* Our goal was to have sex as many times as we could in a seven day period. We never expected to actually complete said challenge. I can barely get my hair washed most days. Oh, who are we kidding? I don't get my teeth brushed most days. Parenting so many kids is HARD.

* To complete this whole challenge thing, I had to sacrifice several other things in my life. I chose to. Some days I was feeling a little resentful. Then I thought, "Wait a friggin' minute?! This will be a very unique thing for us. It can't hurt, and it just might help."

* We have five children, most with some special needs and interesting *cough* behaviors. Our home is never romantic. Ever. The best time for being alone is after everyone else is in bed and with the radio cranked to block any iota of noise. I don't ever have to worry about talking dirty. It's not like we could hear each other over the music anyway.

* I had a chest cold the entire week. It was really bad the first three nights. There was no kissing. Very Julia-Roberts-in-Pretty-Woman.

* I was not in the mood - not once - during the entire seven days. I have a slew of kids. I was sick. This whole new birth control pill thing has tanked the old libido. However, I wanted to see what my body and mind were capable of if I was intentional about sex. It was an interesting experiment.

* I am not some spring chicken (my 80-year-old friends beg to differ, but I am speaking in a peri-menopausal mindset). I have to know my limitations and plan accordingly.

* Because most of our "interaction" happens in the evenings, it makes sleep more difficult for me (you would think it's the opposite, but it's just not!). I made the decision to lose sleep. I wasn't sure how many days we would make it. I lost a lot of sleep.

There are always times when someone is barfing or up all night with an ear infection or you have a bad rash or you are falling asleep sitting up. Some days I can't laugh for the crying. Yet, I do sacrifice for my kids all the time. I have come to realize I wasn't sacrificing for me. By golly, I wanted to see if I could bring more pleasure into my life!

I am hot. I am a treasure. I deserve the erotic gift that is PLEASURE. I'm glad I did this.


Troy & Tara Livesay said...


Troy & Tara Livesay said...

"you just might leave with a blessing" ....

AND a yeast infection. but that is not the blessing Christine was talking about.

;) kidding kidding ...


Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

Well you certainly got MY attention on WFMW!!! Loved the post...I can't believe you did this SICK. I applaud you. Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing this experience! It was entertaining and inspirational.

R-Liz said...

You crack me up-- I love that you pull out the ol' Pastor's Wife title when you're talking about sexy/sexual/nose-piercing issues. And I love that it's the only time you bring it up (the pastor's wife thing-- not the sex stuff. Bring up sex stuff as much as you like-- I love it!).

Way to seduce your pastor, girl!

Candis said...

Bless you. I am menopausal, have 160 students (and nearly 3oo demanding parents), 32, 26, and 4 year-old children, two annoyingly idiosyncratic dogs, a neurotic cat, and those are really not excuses, are they? Once again, you are my shero. And if you ever feel you can share, how did your man feel about your, ahem, sacrifice?

Thany said...

Love it when you blog like this.

I just recently challenged myself to not say no to the hubby when he wanted sex. It isn't like it takes so much of my time-even if I was tired. I had a naturally happy and confident husband for about a month and it was super nice. I am not sure how I fell out of the habit but I think I will be going back to it.

It really is good for all of us. Even the kids. But not in a creepy way. ;)

Ericka said...

Love this post :)

Christine said...

Candis, he LOVED it through about day #3. Then, we both started to wonder if it was going to be biologically possible, or if we'd just say, "Okay, it has been 30 minutes - let's call it a night!" ha!

It became more like a science experiment, which brought a LOT of creativity, we absolutely HAD to communicate openly about everything and oh my GOSH did we laugh a lot and have some of the BEST private jokes that came out of that experience.

I think that was the best part. We didn't expect it to be romantic and hot every night. We just let it be real, and let me tell ya' - real can be hysterical!

ali said...

why do women use "it" as a reward and take it away as punishment? i dont get that, never have. leave the day behind when you close that bedroom door. its a do-over.
my husband is shy and was raised to respect women immenseley, so i had to learn to ask for what i want. but once i did that-BLISS. neither of us ever say no LOL heck, im almost 40- he better not!

Rachel said...

I really liked this post!!! We read a news story about a book (got that - we never actually picked up the book) about a couple that did this every day for YEAR, started THAT, and lasted about a week. :) Ha ha.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Jennifer said...

Thanks so much for sharing. I (and my hubby) are so glad that I came across your blog a few years ago. You have taught this young Christian girl that it is okay to talk about things like this. Sometimes I just need a little boost from a sister to help me understand that this is all normal!

Shan said...

Fabulous dahling! And I loved the double link action-you silly thing. I actually realized just this very morning that I could be much more candid about this subject when talking to a close friend this morning. And it's because of your posts I think!! You ARE rubbing off on me (and not in a sexy lubricant kind of way but the positive healthy Christian way ! ;)

And way to go on the challenge. It sounds a bit hideous on the timing but I know that's part of the point. I'm glad you could find blessing through it all. Satan LOVES to pick at the S-E-X part of marriage and mix things around so much in our heads that we would just rather turn it all off and revert back to robot status. But the blessing is hidden in there and that is what we can discover through a small-n-sexy faithful act! Go team Christine! (That means you're the luv coach now.)

Summer said...

I'm blocking your blog now, just in case my Michael looks over my shoulder and gets ideas. Cause girl, at this stage in pregnancy my hips hurt just walking across the room. The last time we tried I needed a good pain killer and a shot of vodka. LOL

Anonymous said...

What a great though I am super curious to what your hubby thought about all the action he was getting and I hope that you enjoyed it at least once, lol! Great idea!

Kristen said...

Okay, funny, I am the same way about sex sort of "waking me up" instead of putting me to sleep. It is like the tranquilizer gun to my husband, and then I'm left wide awake. ???

I so agree with your comment about whether the husband "deserves" sex. What about us? Don't WE deserve sex? Why do we deny ourselves pleasure to punish them? Yet it's such a pervasive mentality. I guess women still have a hard time seeing sex as a reward for them, too.

Anyways, love this post! I am inspired.

Mama said...

Such a funny post! We never officially did a challenge or anything, but I decided that any time my husband acted interested, I was not going to reject him. I thought we were close before....our marriage is a thousand times better now! Sex is amazing, and I bother him for it now as much as he asks for it! It's amazing how we women can mentally psyche ourselves into treating sex like a chore. It is truly a blessing when done in a safe and trusting environment with mutual respect. I hope others will be inspired to try the same thing from your post! Thanks for sharing!