Monday, June 15, 2009

What came pouring out of your toilet today?

One of my kids is unable to attend children's camp with their dad and two siblings this week. They are not thrilled. Dad is the camp director and just can't stop in the middle of the day and help our kid talk through therapeutic steps. I have to be home with the other kids. Did I mention my child is way not happy?

This child has graduated from therapy. I realize some may think that means they are on a "normal" level socially and emotionally, etc. Realize, though, that just means we no longer need a therapist to help guide us through the giant issues we were experiencing the first year. My kid still has many, many issues and very negative behaviors still rear their ugly heads.

Like this morning.

"Mom, the toilet is spilling all over the floor."

My interpretation: there are some big, turds full of anger spilling all over the floor.

Plunge. Plunge. Flush. Put down plunger.

"Wow. You must be very angry with me, to want me to have to clean your poo off the floor."

About three seconds of the huffing and puffing begin, then my child looks at me ... I'm smiling ... and they take a deep breath.

"Camp starts today and I can't go!"

A little therapeutic discussion ensues while I hand them towels and get them some Pine-Sol and explain how they will be cleaning up their own mess.

They will also sit down tonight and practice honesty with the grandparents, and let them know they'll be happy to clean it again if needed.

We have the same conversation over and over and over again. This child is so very stuck at a very early level of conscience development. Makes negative choices. Blames and punishes everyone else on the planet.

So, we lather, rinse and repeat. They'll get there.

For Pete's sake. Nine months ago they would have been raging just to avoid having the discussion about an overflowing toilet. Today, my kid didn't so much as raise their voice.

I like to give them permission to be mad at me.

"Say, 'Mom, that really pisses me off that you know that! I HATE IT!'" If they don't say it convincingly enough, I have them do it again, or I do it very loudly with a very mean face. It usually brings some laughter, but hey - might as well say it and get it out.

Hmmmmm ... wonder what tomorrow will bring ...


J. said...

funny this is your post today, I busted C this morning for something before he had a chance to do it and boy was he pissed with me for a)knowing and b) stopping him! Oh what lovely RADishes we have... hope you survive the week.

Unknown said...

So so so hard to live with the consiquences of our actions. I hope he can come to some more healing soon so he can enjoy his summer with his siblings.

Anonymous said...

Now that we are finally moved into the new house, we are starting in to summer schooling.. so that was the reason to rage today. We are getting lots and lots of them lately..


Brenda said...

We had a lot of verbal poo yesterday. Here's hoping for a better day for all of us. Cheers!