One of our kids is not allowed to use the restroom in our bedroom - ever. You see, they can take a dump on command, and likes to unload into our potty when they are angry with us (knowing it stinks up the bedroom). Once that little treasure was uncovered months ago, our loo has been off limits to them. Granted, when you have a child dealing with fear and attachment, you also don't want them that close to your toothbrush, shampoo and other toiletries. Otherwise, you're just asking for it.Tonight ...
"Honey, what are you doing going into my bathroom?"
"Well, I need to get on my pajamas and brush teeth."
"Honey?"
Huff. Puff. "I'm mad."
"Why are you mad?"
"Cause Dad said, 'We're all in the same room,' and I didn't like it."
About 20 minutes earlier, a bunch of us were in the kitchen. The kids had spent the evening with some friends. Michael and I spent the evening with two real, live adults. So, we're all recapping the events of the night and this child was being VERY loud. Michael, keeping it light and silly instead of just correcting with a stern voice, jokes: "Hey, we're all right here in the same room!" Smiles and laughs from everyone - even that child.
But ahhhhhhhh ... they did not like it. They held the dump. They hoped I wouldn't notice them slipping past into our Necessary Room. They were going to bless our nasal cavities.
This kid is having a REALLY hard time right now, but is doing remarkably well. I have watched them choose multiple times to get regulated instead of head for a rage or a reason to restrain. We have to help them and do our best to think ahead for them.
They need us now, more than ever, to be an advocate throughout the day, with life in general.
I need to keep them far, far away from my toilet.
(photo by Paul Taylor)
8 comments:
Fun, fun, fun. Want me to send a couple dirty diapers your way, so she an enjoy the smell too. ;)
Oh, poo. We think we found a Jeremiah present in our sauna. Not positive it's his, it could be a critters, but unlikely. I must say that he was much less gassy this weekend, which was very nice. :)
Blessings!
Hannah
Sounds oh-so-familiar... mine did that tug of war dance the whole month before we moved but it was great to see them work to hold it together in ways I hadn't until the move was looming. I am hoping you see progress with the move. That happened for us. It was like a new place and having moved with the family solidified new starts and leaving some old "crap" (sorry couldn't resist) behind.
Mysweetchaos and I are so excited you are gonna be closer to us!
Dia
I swear, if Mar and Cherry didn't buy their foundation from the exact OPPOSITE ends of the Clinique counter I'd swear they were identical twins- last night at, probably the exact same time, Cherry decided to re- grout her bathroom floor. Only, she knows that Mom's decided to go green n' all so she went ahead with an eco friendly fix and used her own feces instead! I swear! I don't know how the little pistol did it, there is NOTHING on the tile, the tile is beautifully clean- you could eat off of the tile- the grout is ca ca brown! it is so nasty! She says Bart, the nasty man in her head, who is wearing a yellow shirt, red shorts, black shoes, no socks, and has B.O. told her to do it. At least she has her own bathroom. I just smiled and asked if she thought Bart was going to tell her to leave it that way or clean it up? I swear- I'm not, NOT, NOt, Notta, not, not, NOT, cleaning any more poop! NOPE!
I hate poop stuff. We have been having some acting out with Taz today because Fish is gone out of town. I finally asked him if liked having his fear be the boss of him. He said of course, ITS NOT. I said well your actions tell me who is in charge. Right now you are not. You are letting the fear be in charge. He stopped. Not saying this will work with Mar as her fear right now if HUGE with a move. But hasn't she figured out that if you were going to abandon her she would stay in OK?
Oy. It is truly amazing how R.A.D. kids try to control their environment through acts such as these. You have alot of strength.
Stay the course! Your doing a great job!
Michael
http://www.rad-online.org
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