Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Oh, what you do with pee

Addicts have their drug of choice. Kids from the hard places have their behavior of choice. One of my sugars was a crazy mad pee-er in the very beginning. That diminished, but with the move, it's back, baby.

So, I had this song stuck in my head all day, and it just kept evolving.

Yes, I did actually take the time to write out this whole thing (if you've known me since high school or college - not surprised AT all *said with a Chandler Bing inflection*) and record it at 10:45 pm. Yes, my hair is totally sticking out in the back and I have a quite attractive butt-part from a day of sweaty packing. Yes, I did teach myself how to play it on the guitar, but wanted to sing it at normal human speed and am singing along with YouTube. No, I do not sound well at 10:45 pm (my sweet, soothing, Karen Carpenter voice prefers the early morning hours).

But some of you really need this as badly as I needed to share it. So, I was not going to wait until I was rested and looking hot. Grab some coffee and break out a little harmony.

Love you all.

Hey there, my darlings, what's it like to feel so freaky
'bout a move tha we must make into a scary, brand new city?
Yes, it's true, so hypervigilent are you, and well - me too.

You're pulling old school things like chatter, playing dumb,
and nonsense questions, skipping hygiene, and leaving chores undone.
I know it's true, but you will argue til you're blue, it's nothing new.

(lots of selfish moaning about pee)

Here there, my sweethearts, do you know how fun its been
to pull out all the furniture and find the places your pee's been,
and yet I stay - each time the urine comes to play - like yesterday.

Hey sugar lumps, I know you're scared and need control
so much you'll fill that bladder up and let your anger take its toll.
You're on a roll. Seems you have made it quite a goal, but it's getting old.

(more selfish moaning about pee)

Eight more days seems pretty far. May have to find myself a bar.
I'd make it easy if there were some way.
You'll rage and cry and huff and puff, but I'll just trudge along because
I know you're loved and know that you are safe.
Honeys, I can promise you that by the time that we get through
our carpet will never be the same, but that's okay.

Hey there my darlings, keep on sneaking out to places
you know you are not allowed, and keep on making angry faces
right at me, if that is how it's gonna' be. You can spray wherever you darn please.
Hey there, my sweeties, here's to you - this one's for you!

(moan, moan, moan, moooooooooooooooooooan)


Anonymous said...

I LOVED IT!!!! That was great!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Let's start a band! I loved it! I'm going to have to go write about it now!

MomInTheTrench said...

Wow, I am loving you in a really unhealthy way right now.

Tubaville pointed me here, and I'm really glad she did.

angie said...

ha ha! awesome.

Hannah_Rae said...

Oh my goodness that was PERFECT!!! :) And to one of my favorite songs on top of it!

You should make a RAD parenting music cd. :) With the top singles being "What you do with pee" and "Just one more hole in the wall"



Diana said...

I really don't know how you do it. You manage to keep yourself sane and keep us all laughing at the same time. Thanks for sharing the pee song...and the smiles.

Best wishes on the move. As I'm well aware, it's a huge stressor! May you be blessed with sanity, wisdom, and above all else, a VERY large toilet...or a shut down in the water works.

~Christina said...

Awesome!! So true!! Thank you for the stress relieve!! Keeping you in my prayers:)

Brenda said...

We have just the minor stressors of some family being out of town and some heading out and have the emotionscapades going on. I can't imagine if I told them we were moving. LOVE the song and your attitude missy! Oh. I do have a question. Are the new people getting a carpet allowance? : ) When one of mine moves out we will have to rip out carpet, subflooring and sheet rock.

Lisa said...

I love you even more today. You are so totally fabulous!

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

This is hysterical. Only a RAD mom. No wonder we go crazy with humor.

Story of our Life said...

Oh' thank you sooo much for sharing this!!

It has been several years since I've had to 'deal' with those pee issues. And as we re-enter the RAD life full time again....I just can't wait. Wait a minute..I can!!

:) Love Ya


J. said...

BRILLANT! thanks, I needed that!

marythemom said...

You are brave, beautiful, and brilliant!

Thanks! I needed that!

Mary in TX
I'm an online mentor at:

Llama Momma said...

Oh my goodness...thank you SO much or sharing this with us!! I am praying for you and your RADS this morning.

Lord, please give Christine an extra measure of strenght and grace this morning, to keep on running this race you've set before her.

familygregg said...

Girlie thought this video of you was so cute (she was over my shoulder watching...which she is not supposed to do....but does anyway....even though she is constantly reminded...which is another long dull story)

Then I told her that it was a fun loving response to a RAD situation.

Her face deadpanned.

"Oh" what she said. Then walked out of the room.

You went from cute to .......Girlie knows what????????????

Dia por Dia said...

Absolutely awesome! My kids really got into the music and didn't realize what it was about until near the very end...they didn't know whether to laugh or cry so two laughed and two left the room! Guess that sorted out the RADishes around here! Good luck with the packing and moving.

Kerrie said...

Taking Famiy Gregg's cue (love your blog too, by the way), I just watched it in front of my son and usually incredibly nosy er, curious RADling. My son asked what it was about and I explained while my RAD-girl pretended to be busy and unusually focused with some Lincoln Logs. Thanks for the self-amusement!

hopefuloffive said...

Hee Hee-larious! Sorry it is at the expense of your carpet, furniture and your time... but you really have some talent!

T & T Livesay said...

dork. you are lovable.

Wendy said...

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!!!

Babs said...

Just in case no one has told you're an awesome mom and an inspiration :)