Racism, RAD and ramblings

* I have been wanting to blog about Henry Gates and what it means to me, to be raising a black son in America. Yet ... well, I'm about to explain my life over the past few days. So, instead, I'll just direct you to my favorite Kristen Howerton in the whole world and what she has to say about Racism and Sunburns (ATTENTION TRAUMA MOMS: the sunburn analogy is helpful to our very, very frustrated brains!!).

* It is one thing to try to find pants and shorts to fit my 37-yr-old no-longer-in-my-20's physique. Yet, I was getting really, really frustrated yesterday, trying to locate appropriate shorts for my traumatized child. I mean, COME ON, people. Why on earth do our grade school girls need to have low rise ANYTHING? And how on earth will it benefit any young woman to have her shorts up to her butt cheeks? Oh, that's right - IT WON'T! Geez, Louise!

* One child is back and in full form. Ask them to put away a bath towel, and they'll stand in front of the kitchen drawer, looking very confused, wondering how to make the bath towel fit in with the kitchen towels. Ask them to take an old box with trash, and sit it next to the old litter box behind the fence? They'll spend ten extra minutes picking up ALL the doesn't-go-in-the-trash-can items, moving them over into one of the trash cans and making sure to leave the lid off so I notice. Take those two incidences, multiply them by 4,963,129,293 ... and you have the current state of their brain and my life. Not brushing teeth, not putting on deodorant, and is spending all day within eye shot and ear shot one parents my husband today.

* Yes, I've been super tempted to say this to this kid. But I haven't. Someone give me a prize.

* I have some very happy children who are now getting paid out of their sibling's allowance to fix anything they do wrong or refuse to do. "50 cents just to take the bath towel off the wash cloths and put it where it belongs? SWEET!" And yes, we've been stupid enough to ask this child to actually do stuff. We have come to our senses. I have possession of their wallet and will be doling out money accordingly to those who pick up the slack. No, this child doesn't care. This will just be "what we do," til we get through the move. It's a stressful time for all of us. And it SUCKS.

* It has all started to take its toll on me. Two migraine aura's in two days (chugged pain meds to stay on top of it, but neither were horrific). Two nights ago I came to bed, laid down and cold chills and sweating washed over me. Went outside to catch a breeze (ya' know - feeling hot then cold then hot then cold). Holding my hair back, just knowing I was going to barf ... literally laying down on the grass in my backyard in my P.J.'s! Never did. Weird. I have been pushing myself way too hard. I wanted to be well ahead of schedule, knowing Twitchy Mac would be having panic attacks and trauma would be saying, "Oh, you THINK you can just tell me we're moving - well, I'll show you who is in control!" So, I accomplished my goal. We are ahead of schedule. Yet, today I am acknowledging my body, and doing nothing - besides bossing around my husband from my bed.

* I did run away last night, for some coffee and spending of birthday money. Hid from my children and made sure to stay out well past bedtime. I'm no dummy. One child pretended to be very, very sad. Well, they were, actually. They were very, very sad they were unable to make my life miserable for those few hours. :) This kid was strong enough to say to me the other day, "I know God wants us to move, but I'm taking it out on you because you're right here." Still conversing with God about a strategy where they could just take it out on Him, instead. Will let you know how that works out.

* You can have family gatherings every single night, and talk about the move every single day, and address the loss of control consistently ... but for some of our kids they are still just going to be off their rockers. *sigh*

* Can cats have attachment disorder? We've got one who has always been very controlling. He recently started barfing like crazy. Figured it was worms or something. Took him to the vet. Nope. "He's probably really stressed about the move. Some older cats do things like this." Dear God.

* Everyone and their dog is at BlogHer 09 right now. There are no words to explain my jealousy. No words.

* Seeing my roots grown down to my ears made me remember I have to find a new person to do my hair after the move. Finding a hairdresser and a new OBGYN are my two biggest challenges with a relocation. Find a great one, and things are very, very good. But a bad one and ... oooo ... very, very bad.

* Alright, I'm going to get up and walk around. Grab another cup of coffee. Blink my eyes and see if everything else is magically packed, and my children are bowing to me in adoration.