I have been itching to tell you something (I was also itching from some sort of crazy allergic reaction, but a very nice doctor gave me some glorious steroids this morning and I'm doing a bit better).
Have you ever noticed how I am the Queen of Run-On Sentences and Chasing Rabbits? Now, what was I talking about?
OH, right. The itching-to-tell thing.
It's my kid.
Last week was a really rough time for our family. Very chaotic. A lot of things working against us. Some little. Some really huge. When you get busy with life's complications, you don't have time to be having lengthy therapeutic conversations and coming up with creative ways to shift energy. You just buckle up and hold on for the ride.
Well, Thursday I looked down to find I had a chocolate brown appendage all day. I knew my child was not leaving my side, but didn't realize the extent until I got up, ANNOUNCED I was going to the restroom, and watched them hop up to follow. "Um, honey. I'd really like to urinate by myself. Tell ya' what - I'll go to the bathroom then meet you in the RV so we can just hang out and talk."
I just jumped right on it. Told them I knew it had been a very stressful week for all of us in so many different ways. I knew they had needed to try to keep regulated without me being around. And my child agreed. "So, tell me why you need to be with me so much today, even when I pee." *giggles*
SIDE NOTE: Over the last month, this particular child has started to stick to me like a post-it after they had behaved in ways which hurt me directly. So, this wasn't new, but instead of being a post-it, they were more along the lines of super glue.
Said in a completely regulated state, no rapid breathing, no darting of the eyes or dilated pupils, no playing with hair or other things to avoid feeling the feelings being spoken: "Well, I'm still just really scared. This week was hard. I just know if I'm with you, I'm okay. It makes me feel safe."
And in true Christine fashion, I sat - stunned - and then yelled, "HOLY CRAP!" To which they laughed really loud and yelled, "I KNOW!"
To say we've had challenges since we've moved here would be the understatement of the century. I have been very angry with the universe lately. We have been frustrated. We have been defeated. We have all just had to bang our heads on trees over some of the crazy - CRAZY - weirdness we have experienced. Some people - super nice. Some people - well, let's just say nice, moral or trustworthy are not in their vocabulary.
And as that chaos spilled over to the whole family, it brought immense fear to this kid. They always assume everything bad is their fault. They thought every tiny little thing would come back onto them. Confused and terrified.
And my child ran to their Mommy.
OH MY GOD, YA'LL!
I'll just stop with that. YES, my child speaks attachment, love and trust with an accent, but they can speak it conversationally now. Soak it up and celebrate with us.