Friday, September 18, 2009

My daughter loves me ... and trusts me (no, REALLY)

I have been itching to tell you something (I was also itching from some sort of crazy allergic reaction, but a very nice doctor gave me some glorious steroids this morning and I'm doing a bit better).

Have you ever noticed how I am the Queen of Run-On Sentences and Chasing Rabbits? Now, what was I talking about?

OH, right. The itching-to-tell thing.

It's my kid.

Last week was a really rough time for our family. Very chaotic. A lot of things working against us. Some little. Some really huge. When you get busy with life's complications, you don't have time to be having lengthy therapeutic conversations and coming up with creative ways to shift energy. You just buckle up and hold on for the ride.

Well, Thursday I looked down to find I had a chocolate brown appendage all day. I knew my child was not leaving my side, but didn't realize the extent until I got up, ANNOUNCED I was going to the restroom, and watched them hop up to follow. "Um, honey. I'd really like to urinate by myself. Tell ya' what - I'll go to the bathroom then meet you in the RV so we can just hang out and talk."

I just jumped right on it. Told them I knew it had been a very stressful week for all of us in so many different ways. I knew they had needed to try to keep regulated without me being around. And my child agreed. "So, tell me why you need to be with me so much today, even when I pee." *giggles*

SIDE NOTE: Over the last month, this particular child has started to stick to me like a post-it after they had behaved in ways which hurt me directly. So, this wasn't new, but instead of being a post-it, they were more along the lines of super glue.

Said in a completely regulated state, no rapid breathing, no darting of the eyes or dilated pupils, no playing with hair or other things to avoid feeling the feelings being spoken:
"Well, I'm still just really scared. This week was hard. I just know if I'm with you, I'm okay. It makes me feel safe."

And in true Christine fashion, I sat - stunned - and then yelled, "HOLY CRAP!" To which they laughed really loud and yelled, "I KNOW!"

To say we've had challenges since we've moved here would be the understatement of the century. I have been very angry with the universe lately. We have been frustrated. We have been defeated. We have all just had to bang our heads on trees over some of the crazy - CRAZY - weirdness we have experienced. Some people - super nice. Some people - well, let's just say nice, moral or trustworthy are not in their vocabulary.

And as that chaos spilled over to the whole family, it brought immense fear to this kid. They always assume everything bad is their fault. They thought every tiny little thing would come back onto them.  Confused and terrified.

And my child ran to their Mommy.

OH MY GOD, YA'LL!

I'll just stop with that. YES, my child speaks attachment, love and trust with an accent, but they can speak it conversationally now. Soak it up and celebrate with us.

31 comments:

Cammie said...

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!

BIG STEPS FOR MAR!!!!

Terroni said...

Congratulations.
To both of you.

MommytoAJ2 said...

I'm pregnant and hormonal, but this post made me so happy I cried!!! Way to go Mar and Mommy!!!!

Parkerchica said...

HOLY CRAP!! This is great news.

Brandy said...

She verbalized that you make her feel safe.

HOLY CRAP!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!

I think all the other bad crap is totally null and void by the goodness of HOLY CRAP!!!

Dia por Dia said...

What a blessing! It's so amazing to witness the healing process with our kids. I am so happy for y'all!

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

Bawling. BAWLING. And doing a little jig as I read. Yay for you guys.

Lisa said...

You know I'm over the moon for y'all. Beautiful mom and daughter.

KatCurlee said...

HOLY CRAP-OLA!!!!!!!!! CHRISTINE!!!!! She DOES love you! She DOES trust you!! God is MAKING PROGRESS in her life!!!!

Keep speaking TRUTH to her. Hug her, kiss her, love her, take her on a "date" with you...just YOU and HER. Keep building that relationship!

YOU'RE AN AWESOME MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!

Lena Wright said...

Wow. Thanks for sharing this. God is great.

happygeek said...

Doing a happy dance with you.
Look at that smile.
Way to go Miss Mar.

Emily said...

That is such great news. I'm literally tearing up right now. I've had a rough day (totally unrelated of course), but hearing your good news and of the progress you're making gives me hope.

Love the pictures.

Jenni Stearns said...

Praise the Lord! Tears streaming down my face!

Kim said...

Christine, that's just freaking AWESOME! Yay, Mar!

Babs said...

Oh Happy Day!
Good stuff! Thanks for sharing!

Wordy girl said...

Go Mar! What a great daughter!

Go Christine! What a great mom!

Mom 4 Kids said...

Smiles big time! Ya'll totally rock!

Chapter Two Manmi said...

Wow! Praise God for still working in the healing business and for putting that beautiful smile on Mar's (and your) face. Prayers that the progress continue.

Brenda said...

you just made my day! : ) Huge smiles here. Huge.

Away2me (Deanna) said...

She is so beautiful!

Oh yes ad HOLY CRAP!

kristal said...

YES!! totally rejoicing with you both.

Jeri said...

Mar, your smile is beautiful! Hope you share it more and more. Yeah Christine!

Laura Staum said...

Yay!! So good to see some smiling pictures and a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel...

Brenda said...

I just keep coming back and looking at these two photos. : ) : ) : )

ldw said...

No words... ((HUGS and High-Fives though!!)

T & T Livesay said...

BAM! take that devil.


Mar is going to heal and be love and give love and receive love.

woot god.

J. said...

Go mar, Go mama!!!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

What wonderful news - for both of you!!!!

BT said...

Bravo to Mar, bravo to you! So thrilled!!!!!

Miz Kizzle said...

She's absolutely stunning. What a smile! keep on keeping on. I'm in awe of your understanding of what severely traumatized kids need.

Kelly said...

I have been reading every word of your blog from the beginning catching up--I have teared up several times... but this! Awesome. You are amazing and that gorgeous girl of yours is so strong and smart! Beautiful--both of you!