Monday, October 12, 2009

Is that porn behind your mirror, or are you just happy to see me?

I have started to paint over all the miles of hunter green and mauve wallpaper in our double-wide. God bless primer.

So, I'm standing on the bathroom counter, cutting in along the edges, when I noticed some old scotch tape sticking out from behind the mirror. This is the guest bath, so I assumed there had been some snapshot a kid had taped up. I pulled on the tape and the corner of a photograph pops out. I WAS SO EXCITED. I figured we'd get some really funny glimpse into the lives of the people who once owned this repo. FUN!

Yeah ... um ... well ... I would first I'm thankful I didn't immediately yell for the kids to come running because I found a picture.

Second, it had not fallen behind the mirror, but was stealthily located there with two pieces of scotch tape aiding in its private retrieval.

Third ... um ... lets just say that someone who once frequented that bathroom had a thing for Asian women.

As I stood there, trying to figure out how long she had to hold that pose to get the picture taken - ouch! trying to figure out where to stash the thing before my boys got their hands on it and stole it were completely appalled, I thought of all the ... um ... DNA I was probably holding in my hand.

There's no place like home.

17 comments:

ldw said...

EWWWWWW! Not quite the hidden treasure you were hoping for, I guess...

Lisa said...

Ewwwwww is right.... yuck, yuck and double yuck. Buying antibacterial stuff by the gallon huh?

Jena said...

praying through the whole trailer now huh?

Corey said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, the places you'll go... Dr. Suess had no idea...

Hillary said...

eeeeeeew! Wonder when whoever it belonged to remembered he'd forgotten it. Hope he was horrified. Blech!

Shan said...

So this was not the glimpse into their lives you were hoping for? I'm q-tipping the mental image I've just conjured carefully out of the folds of my brain as soon as I'm done here. Plah plah plah! :D

Brenda said...

Glad YOU are the one who found it.

Amy said...

Because this didn't happen to me, I think it is very funny.

And the people who owned our house before us painted the kitchen mauve. Light mauve on the walls, and dark mauve on the cabinets and trim. THE CABINETS AND TRIM. I still maintain it was actually intended as psychological torture.

ali said...

well, better than having a LEAKING condom falling out of a pizza box onto your kitchen floor, and your 12 year old handing it to you thinking it was a playtex bottle liner. not that i would know anything about that! OY OY OY! EW EW EW!!!

Parkerchica said...

So not that you're a porn expert, but was this, like, vintage 1980's porn? That might be kind of funny.

And I think you need a hand sanitizer force field.

Chantelle said...

ewwwwwwww times infinity

truevyne said...

You're so going to miss that mauve and hunter green wallpaper, sister.

Simply Moms said...

I seriously love you. f'n love you.

Simply Moms said...

That was Dawn from Simply Moms...

....trying to protect my friend, Cate :) from cyber judgement

Mama Drama Times Two said...

EWWWWW. Makes you wonder what else is hidden? Thank Goodness for bleach!

Cammie said...

OMG!!! I see you are getting your thunder back...creepy weird things happening to you thunder!!

I just don't know what to say about this post...other than it made me laugh my head off...

I am a bit bothered that she was Asian...

hmmmmmm....

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

I always thought the hair soap-on-a-rope we found in our bathroom was the grossest thing ever. You win.