Hate IS a strong word. It means you want something to die. And yes, I wanted Wednesdays to die.
After a day of educating and referreeing and doctoring and therapeutic parenting a group of children who knew there were upcoming activities for the evening ... and everything would just escalate and escalate and escalate ... we would then have to get dressed, find shoes, put out fires, break up fights and head to church.
At that point I either taught other people's children or taught a class or rehearsed with the band OR felt extreme guilt because I was a staff wife and was not doing anything "extra" for the time being. Never mind the times I snuck into my husband's office just to stare at the wall and listen to music on his laptop while I tried not to cry.
Have I mentioned how much I hated Wednesdays?
Well, no longer. They are now one of my favorite days. All of the kids participate in Wednesday night activities at a local church in town, and my husband takes them.
I get a few hours of time away from my children. Doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes someone is having a rough day and needs to stay with me. Yet, even on those occasions, I can usually get something done on the other end of the house (like scratch my butt and drool into a cup for two hours straight) while feeling like I am alone. I'm very good at pretending.
Oh. my. goodness. My attaching kid could smell me writing this post. No joke. I was just starting that last paragraph, and they came in asking questions they already know the answer to - out of nowhere. They had hit her limit today, and the next step was NOT going to their Wednesday night stuff.
But alas, they will be chilling in their room, and I will probably be in the bathtub.
SO, back to what I was saying ... even though I may (DO!) have a child at home, I now love Wednesday nights. It is my only guarantee of solace each week. I do get many others, but we just have to grab them when we can. I cannot send my kids just anywhere because of some of their issues, without first checking things out and annoying the adults with lots of please-read-between-the-lines-or-oh-my-you-will-rue-the-day-you-didn't prep.
Okay ... welcome to my life ... things have changed yet again. This time, it's for very good.
I stole this from the Maryland Attachment Disorder site. Just used it with one of my kids.
You have three choices right now (and yes, these would be one of those things which will be helpful for ANY child - enjoy!):
1. show your feeling with behavior and keep the feeling
2. shut down or withdraw and keep the feeling
3. show your feeling on your face and put your feeling into words and let it go
My child actually did #3 with several things from today. However, they left out the biggie - not attending Wednesday night stuff.
"So, you're not upset about that?"
"Well, yeeeeeeees. But I was mad about the other stuff, too."
At which point I did an impromptu little song and dance about my Deflector Kid!! They can deflect the truth at the speed of life. Can state a truth while totally avoiding the actual question. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's DEFLECTOR KID!
And then they laughed and was finally able to say ...
"I didn't want to do that step and let that feeling go."
"And what is always the big question?"
"WHY?! Well, because I still wanted to hurt you for it."
"And what do we call that?"
To which there was lots of pizazz and fist bumps and a big, "Dude, take your butt to your classes tonight
(photo by Felix atsoram)