Or have you just been ignoring me, because you know I'm going to bring up sex again?
You have five more night-nights before we usher in March. Not that you can't HAVE sex in March (cause you should - lots of it), but we kinda' made this our thing. So, let's focus on February.
Five 24-hour periods to push yourself into more intimacy than normal.
What have your thoughts been this month as I have yammered on and on about bumpin' uglies? I'm guessing (look at me, therapeutic parenting you) there are plenty of you who found yourself a little angry with me. "You don't understand." Oh, but I do.
I know what it is like to NOT want it.
I know what it is like to view my husband as a dirty, creepy old man - even though we were in our 20's and 30's!
I know what it is like to cry at the end of it, because I let it happen so begrudgingly and with such a sucky attitude that it really did feel like I had let myself be violated.
I know what it's like to have your skin crawl.
I know what it's like to rather do anything else ... anything ... ever.
I know what it's like to pretend you're asleep ... or sick ... or on your period for the fourth week.
I know what it's like to think, "So, I feel this way. It's just the way I am. Get over it."
And I also know what it's like to finally face myself and understand that I am the problem, and there are solutions and there are better attitudes, but it will take work.
I had to do a lot of work to improve our sex life. I had to do a lot of work to improve MY sex life. You see, simplifying your life and changing your diet and getting as much sleep as you can and saying "no" to things and UNDER-programming your life ... it helps all areas.
So, the next time some chic tries to lay the guilt trip on you because you did not sign up to volunteer with the PTA for the Spring Carnival, you look them dead in the eye and say, "Well, it was either that, or finally have an orgasm again. I choose orgasm."
Okay, now THAT would make a great t-shirt.
14 comments:
Love it!!!
oh and the heads that would turn when I wore that in the school parking lot!
thanks for making me laugh this morning.
You are very wise. :)
HOW?? Ugh. :P
Working on it. Still (always) working on it. But it's such a vicious cycle...have sex when you don't feel 100% behind the idea, feel violated, feel even less like sex the next time...
I love your challenge, though. It really has helped. Not to mention your honesty. Nice to know I'm not alone in some of these feelings...or in being woken up by whoopie! :P
We haven't tried this yet. Working opposite schedules is our issue right now. I get up at 3am; Hubby gets home at 1am kinda thing. We are trying more than just on weekends though. I get off work at 1pm so during the week - so sex is during the day since we both work from home. Nothing like daylight to make you hesitate with cellulite visible! :)
You have to realize that you categorize sex in a way it isn't supposed to be. Giving your partner a back massage, even when you're exhausted, can many times bring you joy. We have allowed our thinking about sex to get all screwed up. It is a gift we can give. Sometimes we do actually get a gift in return, but that's not the purpose of giving.
When I started to give it as a gift, and WANT to give it ... my thinking began to change.
But seriously - CHOOSE ORGASM. It is one of the most basic functions in a relationship and just the act of sex on a regular basis begins to increase blood flow which, in turn, increases sex drive. Kind of a "use it or lose it" process.
CHOOSE ORGASM! Is that union and that relationship truly the starting hub for everything else in your life? Then, choose to do less of the other stuff. Choose to live simply. Choose to de-stress your life so you can focus on sex. Seriously! And some people aren't okay with that - think you should be doing all this other crap in the world. SCREW THEM!
Okay, not really. You should screw your husband ... but I think you get the idea ...
Elizabeth, as my husband has said many 'a time, "Naked is naked."
I have been known to cover mirrors during daylight hours, however. :)
Sometimes it's great. Other times ... not so much.
I love it!
Wise words need to follow myself!! <>
i guess ive just been dang lucky because i have NEVER felt those negative feelings in the 20 years we've been together & i feel so bad that other women have/do. i would seek counsel.. thats very sad.
It is sad. It sucks.
I have changed my thinking. My hubby and I have talked a lot, so mentally I view things much better. But unfortunately, a year of really bad experiences (and only a few weeks good before it, thanks psych meds for messing with my libido and doc for telling me they weren't when I was too naive to know better) has taken it's toll on a deep emotional level. So I have been working really hard to change my mental attitude, I approach it as giving a gift even when I don't feel like it so expect nothing..but then the gut-level panic or fear takes hold and it's hard to reason with that.
Slowly we're figuring it out. But dang it's frustrating. Almost enough to make me regret waiting.
People who actually talk about this stuff are awesome. Thank you.
if you are giving and dying inside, is it still giving?
"...or on your period for the fourth week."
I'm telling you, period sex can be great sex.
When I ran a clinical trial for rapid ejaculation and couples were required to have sex so many times a month, I was fascinated that some couples absolutely do or some couples absolutely don not have sex when the woman's on her period. My theory is that the woman makes the rule. And for some reason, some women find it taboo to have sex while menstruating.
I'm telling you gals-- it's okay, and from what I've heard, it can be some of the best sex of the month.
Just my two-cents.
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