Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Libido Killer #273

Life happens.

I waited to start the Sex-Periment Challenge until February, because it was just too soon after the Haiti earthquake to do it in January.

Heh. Heh. Do it. Get it?

Wondering if your kids' birth family is alive or dead, and dealing with their behaviors ... yeahhhh ... can screw with ye ole sex life, particularly if you are trying to have a LOT of sex.

LIVING through the earthquake? Those people are just now thinking about holding hands again.

Then my husband was studying to pass that old advanced math certification dume-a-jiggy. Theorems and exponents make me HOT, baby. *cough* Then there is the stress of actually passing. Then there is the post depression of NOT passing the test by just EIGHT POINTS and him diving back into studying for the lower level test and then eventually the retake. "Oh, baby, right there ... right there on my surface area!"

While we were still having a fairly normal amount of sex, we certainly weren't setting any records. Things were settling down and I was all, "Okay - here we go - we are soooooooo knocking out a week straight."

Yeah, then Willie put a bullet in his chest.


Yet, the whole point of the Sex-Periment is to be having MORE sex. We are having more sex considering all the crap life has thrown at us this month. Years ago, I promise you, I would not have even let my husband put his hand on the small of my back during this kind of tough stuff. It was the first way I shut down. It was a dark cave I crawled into, and it just seemed easier to stay there, than to work my way back out to him.

Who knows? Maybe we'll get a full week in. It is in these times we need this connection the most. I make it a priority now, which is why rough life crap doesn't look the same in our bed as it used to.

What about you? What's your libido killer, and have you set up camp in your cave - having no plans to reemerge anytime soon?


ohchicken said...

if it makes you feel any better, we've only gotten down ONCE. which is 100% better than not having any sex. as it turns out, morning sickness really DOES kill libido.

Kerrie said...

My libido-killer is my children. They wake up when anyone moves. We went upstairs with perfectly good intentions last night, but by the time two out of four children had woken up, used the bathroom, and wandered back to bed, we called it a night.

That and the 21-day period two years ago where our daughters were on unsupervised overnight visits, our dog died and my husband lost his job. That sucked it right out of us, too.

Hannah_Rae said...

Lately I've been getting really sick the two weeks before my period. ICK! Normally I am the sexually aggressive one, and we are typically fighting against the major hubby libido killer of stress and worry, but when I am sick it's even worse.

I hope that your heart is able to rest soon. That would be good.



Tyler Alyse Archer said...

I'm trying! I just get so tired and have to wake up earlier than him...I'm gonna give it another shot but last week I thought I did really well we did it twice during the week but then totally missed the step at a time...

Mama Goose said...

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and on pelvic rest due to a placenta previa. That killed our sex life.

So, do it for those of us who can't right now!

Anonymous said...

What kills it? The fact that I only get about 5 hours of sleep each night and am in near-constant pain. Also, my daughter's door alarm going off mid-way. BUT, on those evenings when I feel better? Bow chicka bow wow.

faintstarlite said...

I think what kills it for me is stress. Feeling like I have a pile of stuff, no matter how meaningless, hanging over me just makes me want to sleep. And eat. And definitely not do it.

J. said...

joint pain and too tired, those kill us up here in great white north

Jae said...

Stress. Like you did, I often handle stress by crawling away, deeper into myself, hiding out... I give you huge amounts of props for trying this!

Not A Mountain said...

Oooh baby, right there on my surface area! Haha! I love it!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, just lack of sleep for me (EVERY night up at 4?), and work stress for hubby. Oh, and the night he got his car stuck in my freind's snowy driveway while picking up my son from a play date . . . bad night. The next day when my snow driving experience coupled with his shoveling expertise freed the car . . . on v-day . . .well, that was better!

Givans Family said...

LOVE the math killer...I suppose if my hubby was talking, eating, breathing math...that would kill it for me...math is NOT my strong subject....but I don't know that I HAVE a libido killer.....except those nights that I want a little romance and we are both just toooooo tired. That would be the only thing I can think of. You can do the mom thing with ease, for me it's well, ya! Anyways, seriously, it makes me feel better after a rough day with the kiddos to just be with my hubby. I guess that's why we don't struggle with it. He's a guy, and it RELIEVES stress for me, a winning combo.

Anonymous said...

Woke up this morning realizing I was in denial when I answered . . . in the past 2 weeks, my daughter was suicidal again, my son's tics flared up so badly he couldnt hold his head still to read his school work, and my sister dramatically stopped talking to my mom and instead interupted my busy days to complain about her empty ones . . . these things suck the joy out of me. However, i do find that once i get past my resistance, greater stress often leads to greater release . . . gotta find those silver linings!

Anonymous said...

Oh man. OUR mood killer was last night. We finally had both kids sleeping (sleep resistant 2 yr old and a teething 6 month old), so we snuck off to the guest room and jumped into bed.... Only to find that the cat had crawled under the blankets and puked all over everything.


Ursula said...

What's a libido???

For me it's the constant exhaustion, emotional, physical. 4 teenagers who hear everything through the walls is a bit stilling for me too.

marythemom said...

What Ursula said except only 3 of my 4 are teens so far.

To to deal with the stress of his life, my Hubby prefers to be "catered" to for hours during our weekly dates. Role playing and focusing all attention on him is a lot of effort for me, and quite frankly I want to be "catered" to as well (or at least a little more). OK, TMI, but you did ask.

How do you alleviate the stress so you can focus on each other?

Mary in TX