Friday, March 26, 2010

"There is no time line on healing"




"I've never seen a child who can't come to profound levels of healing.
Never. There is no time line on healing." Karyn Purvis


I keep a time line of the lives of my kids who were adopted. This month is very significant. They have both now lived with us longer than every other placement on this planet, outside of their first family. Every day now is one more day than the most painful and abusive of environments. It's something that we are all just honoring and absorbing, as we pick up and tick off another of those little slots.

Eleven moves in five years. That was their history the day they walked into our family.

Thankfully, there is no time line on healing. Although, I sure would love to know and have it marked so we could just sit around and wait for it ... with colorful drinks stabbed with cute little umbrellas.



(photo by ilker, used with permission)

12 comments:

GB's Mom said...

Wouldn't that be great!

J. said...

next thursday would be a good day for those drinks... to bad it doesn't work that way! You are an awesome mama though and I found thinking of you last night in a particularly challenging moment... WWCD - What would Christine Do... I need a bracelet or something.

Elizabeth @ TexasEbeth said...

Ooohhhh, I want a WWCD bracelet too!

familygregg said...

Girlie came home at 4.5

Been w/us for 10 years
Who the heck knows??????????

I think that means I need some healing, huh?

Cammie said...

I want a WWCD bracelet too!!! Or maybe a T-Shirt...

kristal said...

i'll totally chip in for a bulk order of those wwcd bracelets! i knew it would be hard. i've read this blog every post for the past two years + and have thought i had some understanding of how difficult therapeutic parenting was but nothing could prepare me for this. i would have quit at the get go had it not been for welcome to my brain. i'm hangin in there for that healing. thank you christine.

Nobody said...

There are days when it feels like a sentence, and those days I want to know just how much time I have to serve. But thankfully those days are fewer and farther between...

Life's Mom said...

Christine - A book I read (I wish I could remember which book to give credit) had an exercise that sounds perfect for you guys right now. Take graph paper and cut it into strips, taping them together end to end. There should be one square for each month of their life. Then go through and color code all of the different places where they have lived. It helps adopted kids with multiple moves to make some sense of their confused memories. And, your home will now have the longest block. I am waiting a few more months to do with with Life, once we pass that monumental moment. Congratulations on the accomplishment.

Christine said...

l's m, that is what we do - that's our time line.

Kerrie said...

It's gotten a little easier for me (mentally, anyway) just lately, with Peanut actually fully attatched and about to graduate therapy. Princess has been pretty stagnant this past year; so I can look at Peanut and see it IS a PROCESS.

BT said...

Like you, I have always had this idea in my mind that our kids needed to be with us longer than they weren't for them to really start to sense some semblance of stability and security. For P, that will occur middle of this summer. For B, it happened ages ago because he was so much younger when he came to us.

Our psychologist told us to take a "multi-year horizon" on RAD.

I had never heard of that graph paper strips idea but am definitely going to do it. It will make it so tangible for P (and B).

Newly and Forever, Tamantha said...

Just found your blog via the Happy Jannsens! Thanks for this post...I don't have kids and couldn't possibly understand it in the context you wrote, but spiritually speaking, I needed the reminder for myself! Your RV Park sounds awesome!