Today, with some interesting outcomes, I have tried a new little thing:
"Wow, look at that right there. You had a big feeling and did exactly what you FELT like doing. Here's a crazy idea. Why don't you try a do-over and do the exact OPPOSITE of what you felt like doing ... ya' know ... just for fun."
It will get old. It won't last. But it sure is de-escalating a lot of crap today. YEA for fresh ideas.
This is one of my favorites, because pretty much every single day of therapeutic parenting I have to choose to do the complete opposite of what I feel like doing. We have talked about that today, in fact. How sometimes I want to scream (not just at my child, but at lots of people - some moments of life sure would be easier without all these darn people - lol). Yet, I do the opposite of what I feel like doing. I have yet to regret doing the opposite of what I want to do when experiencing a negative feeling or emotion.
FYI: just now this resulted in them smiling, taking a deep breath and saying, "Mom, I saw that the yarn had fallen into the laundry basket, but I did the laundry with it in there on purpose."
FYI PART DEUX: I found a smile and totally faked my joy over this accomplishment. I'm still reeling from the last few weeks (particularly the last seven days). This is what we call "Fake it Til You Make It." It's hard to just BOOM - have genuine loving feelings when you have been nit-picked to death for approximately 200+ hours straight. You do the opposite of what you feel.
Chock it up to one more tool in our arsenal, guys and gals. We are fighting a history, not our children. They didn't ask for it. We can do this.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ...