What do I do when the crazy is topping the charts and I'm just simply too tired to out-crazy it?
I stop whatever I am doing.
Usually, that means I am writhing in anger over my kid's dysregulation. I want to scream or throw something or pull my hair out. I WANT to engage in their fight, cause it would feel sooooooo good to get out some of that aggression I now have starting to seep out of my ears.
So, I stop.
I say to myself, "Ya' know what? I'm stepping away from that. I'm going to make something."
"I'm going to read something."
"I'm going to play some stupid computer game for like an HOUR."
Anything. Whatever. And when my child yells something or sasses or says, "What are you DOING?" I can smile and say, "I'm remaking this shirt. The armpits were really stained, so I'm cutting them out so I can wear it some more." "YEAH, cause you're so GROSS!" "I sure was with these yellow pits."
"Well, I don't WANT to put away my plate!"
"I know. Hey, check out how cool this collar looks!"
See what I'm doing there? I'm literally stepping out of the battle. Sometimes my child will keep trying to engage. Then it just becomes comical. Sometimes they may actually do that one little tiny thing they chose to battle over. Sometimes they won't. Almost always, they will regulate, because they're not getting a rise out of you. They want the fight. And yet ... you ... are just sitting there doing something else?
And in the process, you are handing the process back over to their brain (that's the free therapy perk you get out of therapeutic parenting moments that happen over and over again). Perhaps you also get a book read or get a high score on Free Cell or recon a shirt so that it is wearable again?!?
Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away and do something else and just let the battle go. Well, and THEN take silly pictures of yourself that look like you have to go pee (what is up with THAT?)