Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"Being Mean is Being Lazy"

Some days I am overwhelmed with the richness that is the mass of people who have been poured into my life.


I woke up this morning to read words from a friend. Words like ...

"I’ve learned that practicing courage is important, especially when I don’t feel courageous."

"I want to be kind, because I choose to be kind, and not because others are doing and giving me everything I want."

"Being mean is being lazy."

Jennifer is ... I honestly have no way of describing her. I would call her a hero, but that would piss her off. Because she's just like many of us. She knows that, and she wants you to know that. She's doing the hard work of change and growth, and it terrifies her. She talks about it and that terrifies her.

And yet she keeps doing it. Not just "it." Not just daily life. Do you have any idea what she has done over the last six months? Any clue the thickness and pain and struggles before that?

Jennifer is a source of inspiration to me, but especially my children who have come from the hard places. Her words today will most definitely become banners all over our home. I love to watch the eyes of my kids light up when I read her blog entries. Today will hit on many different variables. Today will mean so very much to them, as they know Jennifer is also climbing a mountain. Terrified, but still moving. Mortified at her own levels of openness, but not allowing the hurt parts of her to delete her words. Making positive choices in the middle of really HUGE and scary feelings.

Grabbing it by the balls, one might say.

Hmmm ... must include that one with our banners ...


Kerry said...

I started reading this entry and had a moment because I JUST read those same words on Jennifer's blog. LOVE her!

Annie said...

I love that title, and that idea - being mean is being lazy. I have to kick myself in the rear with that thought frequently, when one of my kids will be in their dysregulated state and I am fed up with the "nonsense" and just want compliance, and want it NOW!

It is so easy to be mean. To yank someone by the arm away from the TV they won't stop watching, or to threaten to throw their stuff away if they don't pick it up immediately, or to do a bit of name-calling. SOOOO much harder, to stop - when I'm tired - and sit with the child, to say, "That's a huge job; I'll help you get started." Or, to just be silent and still. Sometimes it feels like an insurmountable hill to climb, to simply be patient and kind. But not doing so - it's lazy.

Jolene said...

Ouchie...that stings...but sometimes the truth does that.