Monday, September 27, 2010

The Case of the Missing Detergent Cap

I think all of us parenting trauma should create our own Nancy Drew-esque mystery series. We could take all of the quirky, nonsense type of things our kids deliberately do when they are feeling out of control.

"The Case of the Spoon with the Cups"

"The Case of the Wet Underwear Under the Bed"

"The Case of the Moldy Food in the Bathroom"

This week, we have "The Case of the Missing Detergent Cap." We all know who is responsible for it. Our family members are the only ones who use the containers we recycle and use for our homemade detergent. If someone DID accidentally drop the cap in with some laundry, they would discover it at some point and put it back. It's a very typical behavior, although creative in its own right.

When Michael was refilling detergent with the girls the other day, the focus of this whodunit was the first to say, "I'LL CARRY BACK THE ONE THAT IS MISSING A CAP."

And we continue to ignore it.

It is driving that kid CRAZY. We won't go too terribly long, because the truth behind the behavior is that they now feel some guilt for doing it. They want to get caught. Feels that they NEED to get caught to prove her feelings of shame. However, we're choosing to make this mystery into one of the classic "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. We're brainstorming over some very passive ways we can encourage them to fix this little mystery with as little interaction with us as possible. An opportunity to keep moving forward in healing.

It would be a big deal, and I'm not sure they'll choose that particular ending. However, we all know that the cap is still somewhere (maybe - could have been thrown out with the trash since they forget we have someone in the park helping us with those tasks right now). Probably, it is hidden somewhere. I would venture to guess it's actually in the house, instead of down near the laundry room.

We will create a very positive, encouraging note. Unsigned. Just a quick reminder of true strength and what that looks like.

And we will wait.

I mean, a missing cap is not the end of the world. No biggie. But that cap reappearing. Now THAT would be a best seller!

(photo by Melodi T, used with permission)


Christie M said...

In our house, when something is oddly missing, or a kitchen drawer left open with towels hanging OUT.... "not me" is ALWAYS the one who did it!

As soon as I find that "Not Me", I'm going to tell her to please fix what is left undone. I just can't find her!

So, I told the girlies, "when you locate "not me", would you please tell her to close the kitchen drawer and make sure the towels are neatly folded back up? Thanks!

Jen said...

Oh, at my house, it was the Case of the Inside Out Coat Sleeves. Took me half of last winter to realize she was doing it herself, on purpose, all winter long, so she could demand that I fix them and refuse to put her coat on herself. Good times! Looking forward to seeing how this one ends.

marythemom said...

"Not Me" is hanging out with his cousin "Ida Know" over at my house if you're looking for him. They are apparently speedy fast, invisible, and have a conduct disorder.

Mystery solved.

Mary in TX

KT said...

We just had the case of the odd smell that led to the missing 20 pounds of beef in the corner of the room! My 15 yr old tries to be helpful, but still (four years home) lacks basic reasoning/logic abilities. Which I must say, makes life VERY exhausting on a daily basis.... So, out went a 20 pound rack of beef to the trash. I dont eat beef, so it wasnt a huge disappointment to my taste buds, but she was pretty crushed, which led to two hours of pouting over homework. ug. I want a day off!

Terroni said...

Mar, you got this one, Iron Girl!

Michelle said...

We could have a weekly game show called "Who Done it?" at our house because it's always something. Last winter, we couldn't figure out why we had MICE in our bedroom- I mean, what's the attraction? Then, when cleaning some stuff out from under the bed, here we find candy wrappers, partially eaten PBJ sandwiches, etc... Turns out, under Mom and Dad's bed is the favorite spot to go after you have snuck some food from the kitchen! (kind of a "take that, you controlling parents, you!")
Yah, never a dull moment :-)

Laynie said...

I love this! So entertaining to see how all our kiddos are so very similar! It's been a week from UGH! and I am hormonal but I don't think that has anything to do with the fact that I am laughing tears from reading the comments! Thanks everyone, for reminding me I am not alone in the wango-tango crazy world of RAD!

Erika said...

Relating to all of you! I sometimes start singing and dancing to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it" but I'll insert the mystery. "If you left the cap off and you know it, shake your booty butt". Everyone giggles, sings along, makes up new refrains... and we sometimes get a confession. Just keep it silly and helps keep us focused on fixing what we break, damage or lose.

Unknown said...

OMG, I say "booty butt" too! lolol Of course, my kids from trauma are older, so the "booty butt" is much less effective for them now. Thankfully, I have a 7 year old who still finds that delightful.