I just cleansed my email inbox and realized I have missed DOZENS of cries for help along the way from parents of trauma. I know this is voluntary, but I also know what it's like to be on the other side of that request.
Crap.
CRAP!
Thankfully, most people are as determined as I am, and find me on Twitter or Facebook and shoot me a message there or post on my wall or virtually jump up and down screaming to catch my attention. I like that. DO THAT!
It has been weird for me lately. Things with the kids are in a positive place (I will not say "good" or "great" out loud - I know better than to jinx it!). However, I have others in my life for whom my heart is breaking. Everyone's life carries on and some of those lives are complicated and aching.
The kind of aching that leaves you smack on your face in the middle of the floor as you hurt for your friend. Primal groans. Offering everything while simultaneously feeling completely and utterly helpless.
Then, while I have friends reaching out to me, I spend just as much time emotionally vomiting over the amazing clump of people I have to reach out to. It is this beautiful effect. Depending on the season and the situation, others carry me so that I can carry yet others. It's a trickle down of love.
I am a woman who has never had a sole best friend. Ever. All of my closest friends have always had a "best friend" ... someone else with a longer history. So, while I had my best friend in 10th grade, and my best friend my sophomore year in college and my best friend on that one 2-hour band trip ... they always had that other "bestest best friend."
I have grown to love this. I have learned to watch for the love that is constantly being handed to me and accept it all on each level and let it fill my life in the way I need it most. Everyone in my life has a very, very special place. And some of you, you poor old souls, have found your value in the last few days (really hoping you have unlimited texts!). It all started with that darn conference and emotional upheaval continued from there.
WHY am I blubbering on and on? First, as a very public way of thanking those who have carried me this week. Some through offering prayers and positive thoughts. Some through tender words. Some through laughter. Some through trash and crass. CARRIED ME. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Don't stop. Don't stop. DON'T STOP!
Second, I'm blubbering because I want you all to see the value of a support system and build it around you. Build it deep and build it wide. Wait for some of it to come to you, but pay attention when it shows up. It may be spread out over states and continents. It may function on cell phones and chat rooms and Skype. Yet, it's gold.
(photo by Flavio Takemoto, used with permission)
2 comments:
so glad to have found your blog. I am taking your advice and flinging my net out wide to connect with people. for bubba. for myself.
Haven't had the chance to read your blog in a while. Glad I stopped in today. Wish I could fling my net wider, I'm trying, but the wind keeps blowing it back in my face. What you said about a woman who's never had a sole best friend, wow - does that really resonate with me. I had a sole best friend all through school, but since I left home I have not had one. I have had many good friends, but no best friend. Tried to substitute a husband for that, but that didn't work out either. Would love to have a female best friend again, but finding one who doesn't already have another bestest friend @ age 43 is a daunting task.
Natalie
adoptyaroslav.blogspot.com
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