Monday, November 08, 2010

I'm not perfect, but definitely mediocre

Sometimes I walk into a room and find myself saying something like:

I am about to be the best. mom. ever. You see, I am having a rough day. Can you see it? See that twitch in my eye? I'm tired, and your youngest sister has me on my last thread of patience. So, I'm telling you that. Laying it out there. Cause I'm the best. mom. ever. I'm giving you a head's up. You'll know to either avoid me for a bit, or handle me gingerly. *few more eye twitches followed by a forced smile not anywhere NEAR all the way up to my eyes*


Wasn't that nice of me? They appreciate it, as well. Funny how they clear a quick path on those days so as not to get between me and the coffee pot.

With all the healing that has gone on, we have also been able to pinpoint some patterns to the bad days/weeks. We are just now entering one. But we're aware of it. We're talking about it. Addressing possible triggers.

I'm drinking lots of coffee, and hoping my child can follow my lead above and just let us know when it's time to step out of the way for a bit.

I doubt we're there YET, but a girl can dream. Don't spoil it for me. Laugh quietly amongst yourselves.

13 comments:

a Tonggu Momma said...

I love that the Tongginator can now predict my Grumpy Days even before I can. It's a great goal.

Kathleen said...

Christine,
We did something that helps with that. I'll have to try to post a pic... one of these days! I bought a small cork bulletin board, pinned up a rainbow set of pipecleaners on it horizontally, spaced out from bottom to top (red at top for boiling point), then gave each kid thread, letter beads, and a push pin. They each created a pin with their own name tied on (me too). Since sometimes it's too hard to talk about your feelings, they just move their pins around to show what kind of mood they're in. We hang it in a prominent part of the house, and I watch that board like a hawk! When I miss the other signs of their mood swings, the pin on the board smacks me in the face and I watch my step - and more importantly, I go find the kid who's having a rough time and I try to connect with him.

Kathleen

Kim said...

Thanks for reminding me that it's okay and GOOD to be real with our kids. Telling my daughter 'mommy's grumpy today' is much better than snapping at her :)

I wish we could come stay in your trailer park for a while!

courtney-greengirl@blogspot.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
courtney-greengirl@blogspot.com said...

Found your blog while looking for help with my daughter, we adopted her 4 1/2 yrs ago (3 foster placements and severe neglect). We also have three biological children, the oldest has a bit of Aspergers (runs in our family) with oppositional defiance as a result, the middle boy is perfectly normal except having to deal with us, and our youngest has Aspergers, SID, Tourettes, and OCD.
Your video's and blog are the first thing that has spoke to me and been real for me as we have been using love and logic but only got the RAD diagnosis last year. What a blessing to find out we are not crazy or losing our minds. Thank you for your blog and video's, keep it up! - Wife, Mom, Business Owner, Yoga Instructor, Simple Living Hippie, Volunteer:)

miss tejota said...

I'm going to try this on my cat and see how this works.

Andy and Kiara said...

Thank you for the reminder! How quickly some of these basics leave us when we need them most.

Erin said...

Kathleen, I love your idea! Going to try that one out soon...

Integrity Singer said...

OMG, I tell this to my kids all the time (especially to my RAD)
"I AM the best mom ever. There isn't another mom that can do what I do for you every day. I'm IT. ME. This is the best it's ever going to get kid!"

and mostly it's for me! lol

Brenda said...

We are awesome moms, aren't we?

Acceptance with Joy said...

I've let me kiddos know that a time or two myself.

I just might get to that place again real soon seeing how rough my little Missy is making life for me and her right now.

I spent a total of 6 hours hiking yesterday to see if I could help her change her perspective on life and this morning she yelled at me for three hours something about wanting to eat. I'm like of course you can eat, silly. Just get dressed and make your bed like everybody else. The food's here.

So I did what you said and pulled out the crazy crazy and danced around her for an entire hour while I sang how much I loved her at the top of my lungs... I peppered my love song with bits of wisdom and some ideas on how to have an easier life. Ha!!it's exhausting (dancing and singing at the top of your lungs, that is!!!)

She and I spent the rest of the day confined to her room. I had to make her world small...

can you believe it? She's 6. Am I going to survive this?

Kristi said...

When my kids ignore me and roll their eyes at me I take it a step further and I coerce them into saying it with me "Yes mom you are the best mom in the entire world and I will do everything you ask me to with a smile on my face" and if they dare ignore or roll their eyes again I continue to up the ante until they are all laughing with each other at me. But in the end I still got all three of them to say I am the best mom ever so I count that as a WIN!

coffeemom said...

Good post, and wishing you a speedy week or a smooth week, or both! We have that kind of week ahead, or, erm, NOW, as well. BC it's a bday week for our girl w/ trauma issues. And that is just so hard to process it seems. So, it WAS giddy and excited, last week. This week it is sick and angry and achy and sad and angry and tired and sleepy and depressed (my words that last one). Fun times.

kathleen. LOVE that idea. might try it if I can find the energy to make it and implement it. Hmmm.

Thanks Ladies!