I'm sitting here staring at my youngest. Two completely mismatched socks. It's not a rarity. It's what she does. Today is just gray vs. white. Typically it's a little more over the top (below the ankle white matched with above the knee stripes).
It is driving me crazy, but I have to stop and keep it where it belongs - my problem. Because honestly, WHO CARES? She certainly doesn't. In fact, she probably thinks it's kinda' fun and quirky. Not like anyone ever looks at any part of me that way. Nope. That never happens. For some reason, on some days, it screws with my head. I have yet to figure out the pattern with it, but today - fingernails on a chalkboard.
So, um, yeah. I have no room to talk. I'm the one with the random wrist cuff tattoo with no distinguishable pattern that isn't really thorns and is kinda' tribal but almost not and has no special story or meaning behind it.
I just like it.
And that's the thing with her socks. She just likes it that way. It makes her happy.
I say all of that to say this: sometimes we project our own desires onto others without even stopping to think. Sometimes those desires are fleeting in our own head and could change again within 24 hours. Either way, it's normal to immediately feel that our way is the best way and should be the only way.
I can admit that. You can't help how you feel, and I have those feelings often. It's reactionary. But these dern little socks today are reminding me of the bigger picture. Even if my way is more freeing, more efficient or truly is more practical, your way may bring you more joy for a million different reasons. So, there is no issue, and I need to deal with my own crap in how I view you.
FYI: as I was typing this I realized I need to send out a big apology to all of you who still google search my blog instead of bookmarking me! ;)
19 comments:
I was shopping the other day at this fabulous little General Store here in New England and there were socks sold in packages of THREE and all were vibrantly and bodaciously MISMATCHED! Apparently it is a marketable trend - Who knew????
BRILLIANT! such is the burden of the control freak, though, right??
I always seem to wear mismatched socks! Looking down at my feet right now, I see that in one foot I am wearing a bright pink sock with purple hearts, and on the other foot, I am wearing a deep turquoise one.
I just don't have the time, the will, or the inclination to go through all my socks. I do, however, pair up my husband's socks for him... I wonder what that says about me!
oh, and I am a lurker! Hi :) I am Nina! Nice to meet you!!
ps: loved the Christmas sex post!
My daughters only wear mismatched socks. It makes sorting socks much easier for me...I just grab 2 and put them together :) Yay!
My son has his own unique sense of style as well. It usually involves mismatched shirts and pants however since his socks are all white. Drives my hubby batty!
I learned ages ago it isn't worth my emotional energy to battle over what he choses to wear to school as long as it is weather appropriate.
Hubby is slowly coming around. I think he thinks it reflects badly on him if Charlie is not looking good. Pbbffft!
My son does the exact same thing. I'm going with the making it easier to sort idea. And the when I throw out the ones with the holes, or the dog eats them, it doesn't really matter.
My 17yo daughter regularly wears mismatched socks. Doesn't bother her so it doesn't bother me. However, the closet and dresser that look like they've thrown up clothes all over her room disturbs me.
Amy
Dirty sneakers with dressy dresses. Stop the insanity!!!
I have a completely neuro-typical 5 year old son that loves to mismatch. I insist that his clothes match. I always have. But the other day he got dressed for school and put on mismatched shoes. Both tennis shoes - but mismatched nonetheless. We were running a bit behind schedule so I said nothing. In fact, I snapped a picture of it on my phone to send to family so they could get a laugh too.
The next day he ramped it up by wearing one black sock, one Handy-Manny sock and mismatched shoes again. It's become his calling card.
I just make sure to tell him if anyone asks he's to tell them I think he's a dork and he dresses himself. (In our house dork is a term of endearment LOL) He falls into a fit of giggles every time and insists that he's going to tell everyone it was my idea.
I'm a bookmarker mama!
I love wearing mismatched socks. It reminds me to think beyond what I've been taught is "the way" to do things and think outside the box.
yep, the three-to-a-pack socks are by "Lil' Mis-Match" unfortunately, they seem to stop around preschool-graduation-size. But... Christine, would it make it better if you had some "control" over the mis-match? Buy her NO WHITE/GREY/BLACK socks! Every single sock must be available in matching colors in a box of easter-egg dye. And she only gets one of each pair (the rest goes in your sewing box, to become crazy sock-monkeys! or at least for spares when she gets a hole.)
They sell cute/girly/loud socks at dollar tree and in the dollar bin at target, and some times the price feels comparable to the mega-size packs.
Plus, you can pick colors that you at least like!
MamaDramax2- my kid has those socks. I bought 2 sets of 3 totally 6. None of them match.
My two bio daughters who are now grown did that all the time.
WOW! I think you have some weird link in with my brain. ;) This has really taken a lot of effort for me to deal with. My dd has taken a liking to cutting up her old tights and using them as socks..mismatch. I let her...she looks like pippi longstocking (she WAS pippi for halloween 2 years ago) I see it...it bothers me...I smile...it is such a "small" thing. ME? I sit here with two different white socks on and it BOTHERS me.
Oh and I'm talking about my "typical developing" (whatever that means ;) child. My NT child has issues like ME.
LOL! Hey my bio girls do it all the time. One orange sock, the other blue. They say, "who cares? I wear shoes, who is going to see?"
And yes, they have some of those sets of three Little Miss Mismatch socks. They think they are the coolest.
BUT
I have a question for you.
THIS DOES drive me crazy and I have been trying to get the upper hand on this with my 6 year Buster Brown... he makes us LATE for church every week. THis morning I clocked him. Took me a total of 3 hours and 8 minutes to get him from his bed to the car. I'll spare you the details of the screaming and the tricks and the battles... This has been going on for 9 months. NINE MONTHS!! He likes church, but he loves the fact that he can make us late more. I've taken him to church in pjs.... nothing works. HELP!!!d
Acceptance with Joy,
I've been there. You are doing all the work (because obviously he's not doing much of ANYTHING for three hours!).
You're worrying that nothing "works." I know what you're thinking. "Works" means "he stops doing it." Let that go. Seriously. Kill that thought and have a lovely funeral for it. Here is your new definition: "Something 'works' when I find a way to avoid a battle."
You pick out an outfit and give him the option of wearing that or dressing himself. Lay it out. You give a countdown - "Leaving in one hour" ... "Leaving in thirty minutes" ... "Leaving in ten minutes." Etc. And you are being very, very kind with these reminders.
That is ALL you say. Period. When it's time to leave, everyone gets in the car. You carry the outfit you picked with you.
If he goes in p.j.'s GREAT. Let him. Because it "worked" - no battle! If he dresses himself in play clothes GREAT. Let him. Because it "worked" - no battle! And if once in a blue moon he asks to change into the outfit you picked out, then you have it right there with you. Boom - it "worked" because he chose to do something in cooperation with you that was your choice.
Let it go. You are showing him it is the PERFECT way to have total and complete control and make you dance like a monkey. Honor the fact that Sundays freak him out. He is stressed. That is WHY he is doing this. But him causing you to do all the work will never bring him healing. Keeping it together. Having a kind voice. Being matter-of-fact and showing him that you can handle the smallest things - even him wearing pajama's to church ... there is where the healing starts.
And when you get to church and someone comments on his clothing ... say, "I know. Doesn't he look awesome? He picked it out himself!!" Be genuine and not sarcastic.
Our kids from the hard places were hurt and never received any choice in the matter. When we CAN give them choice, give it. It "works"!
It's a black & white issue for us.... LOL.. My son always does black & white. Made me coo coo for a while too. Now I would think it odd for him to wear two of the same colored socks. Then you know he's having an off day!
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