Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Stealth parties



I am currently experiencing what most of us rarely do.

I have another mother of trauma RIGHT HERE in my park.

She is also crazy amazing in a million other ways, but that's a novel all to itself.

Anywho, her neuro-typical daughter (despite having those two as parents -- bu-dum-bum-CHING!) and my daughter from the hard places have become total BFFs. For several weeks now, they have built and maintained a beautiful, healthy, age-appropriate friendship.

My child has certainly done many things to try to sabotage it, but ONLY WITH US. Not with her friend.

Huge.

And now they have this really great friendship, and I think my gal is starting to actually see and think that she deserves such a thing.

So, my friend's daughter has a birthday this week. She wanted to take my daughter to a movie. Yeah, you see where I'm going with this. You already know what a HUMONGOUS thing it is that this friendship is even happening and continuing as well as it has. Now, throw in a birthday celebration ... dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun.

But you want to know why I'm writing? Want to know why my heart is exploding?

Because my friend (mom to said neuro-typical child) planned the birthday outing a day early without my daughter knowing a thing. Because she knew that would help her and alleviate one more day of temptation to sabotage and destroy the good thing.

And when I told my daughter today, "Hey, time to get ready. You are going TODAY! In about a half hour. And S's family thought it would help you to go a day early, to take away some of the stress. I knew it too. Hope it's okay we planned it that way."

And.

she.

smiled.

And she felt love. And she expressed regulated appreciation that her friend's family would care enough to do that. And she and her friend dolled up and went giggling and skipping out the door.

And I can't cry for all the smiling.

If you are a therapeutic parent, you know what a gift this was to me and my child. You know what a gift it is to just be around someone who knows and understands and then actually ... arranges their schedule for the sake of your child?!?

I'm sure there will be some regression for the next day or two.

And I could care less.




(photos by the kickin-A, trauma mama friend, Slow Pony Home)

28 comments:

Lynn said...

That is awesome!!!!

alicia said...

I am a mess over this. It's such a blessing to us to be here and to get so much support from your family. Those girls together today made everything simple.

Brandy said...

Wahoo!!!!!!

What a step!! What a feat!

Yayayayyayaayaay!!

Corey said...

I would like to kiss that Mom. On behalf of RAD kids everywhere.

Sarah said...

Oh this made me all teary. What beautiful pictures and what a beautiful day!

Shan said...

My eyes just squirted. So nice. :)

Diana said...

Smiling through the tears right along with you!

miss tejota said...

Beautiful!

Amber said...

Like everyone else, I'm teary. Such an encouragement to all of us too, hope of what is in the future! Yay!

Megan said...

*Happy Dance* And oh my word- those girls are just gorgeous. Seriously just stunning girls :-)

And how wonderful for you to have a trauma mama in your backyard! Woop Woop!

Mandy said...

That is so incredible!! I bet that made you feel loved as an entire family... what an amazing gift they gave to you guys for THEIR daughter's birthday. Totally awesome.

Mandy said...

I looked for a place to email you or something and couldn't find it.. have a question - not sure if you have time to answer, but..

Our 6yr old foster son is driving me bonkers with some of his behaviors.. the biggest one is the constant competition. "I've got the most," "I won," "I'm faster, better, stronger, and all around much more awesome than you at everything," and "can I have the most" type crap. Is this all summed up as entitlement? If so - WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE IT STOP?! ack!

Thanks for any advice!

Christine said...

Mandy, my email should be on my expanded profile, but I haven't looked at that in a while.

FaceBook friend me if you're on there.

Or email me: christinemoers [at] hotmail [dot] com

I'll write you back tomorrow. Tonight I'm running away from home.

Kathleen said...

What a blessing!

jaykbee said...

YaY!

matryoshka said...

oh, I'm crying too. Awesome!

Kerrie said...

Amazing! I love hearing Mar stories, because she seems to be about 18 months ahead of Princess. Gives me stuff to look forward to. And hope. Can't forget hope.

waldenbunch said...

That is the most precious thing ever!!!!! Wow. I'm speechless. There is still goodness in the world and your RAD experienced. So proud of both of you!

Trauma Mama said...

Wonderful!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Smiles all around. Love how you all hold each other up with compassion in your hearts. Thanks for spreading your joy.

Lisa said...

Tears. Happy for you. Happy for her. Hope it lasts. Great photos, too.

The Lundys said...

so awesome! and i'm so jealous! great, thoughtful thing to do for sure.

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

I freaking LOVE THIS!!

Marcy said...

Beautiful! Just beautiful! I love the pictures and I LOVE this post. Wow! I'm just squirting tears over here too.

brenkachicka said...

OH WOW! That is AMAZING!!! What a wonderful hallmark of her progress!!!

chelle.white said...

:D just :D

Michelle said...

I love this post and am sitting here smiling for all of you.

Ericka said...

That is HUGE!!!! What an awesome blessing for all. Love these stories....we need them in the midst of all the RAD-ness.