Monday, February 21, 2011

Sexperiment 2011 - the final stretch

You have one week left in February. Then I will shut up about sex.

OH, even I couldn't write that with a straight face. Of course, I won't! I will, however, take a break from being so deliberate and obsessive. How's that?

You have about a week left in this month. That's still time to start the Sexperiment, if you haven't. Make it your own. Custom tailor it somehow. Just get in there!

The husband and I set a new record. 11 days straight.

And then we happily took a break.

Yeah, did you really think this picture showed two exhausted dads after a game of touch football? Oh, heavens, no. It was the result of February.

This was our third year to make this deliberate attempt. We could have gone longer, but were ready to throw in the towel around day #6. It was an interesting learning experience to have some major difficulties, life issues and still stay with it and show up on day #7. When we got through all of that, we were like, "Eh, we're this close. We might as well pass the 10-day mark." It was a very romantic process.

I don't know that we'll go past a week next year. Yet, this is what we DO know:

- leading the way for everyone these three years has forced us to step outside, not necessarily our "comfort zone," but our "lazy (lard) zone."

- since starting the Sexperiment three years ago, we have begun to have more sex ... a LOT more sex.

- we can have a fight, and use our words and take the time for reconciliation and STILL HAVE SEX THE SAME NIGHT. We can be grown-ups and not pretend to be okay but withhold sex to passive aggressively hurt the other person.

- doing the above point is really hard, and sometimes it really sucks being a grown-up. However, it forces you to grow, and you have to shut your big yapper, because you know it makes you a better person.

- sex is about so much more than intercourse. We already knew that, but had no idea how very much we could continue to learn in that arena, year after year.

- opening the conversation to new ideas in the bedroom gets easier with practice, and has yet to disappoint us, even if it means we give something a valiant effort and walk away from it laughing hysterically.

- a couple who was once known for not even having sex 11 times in a YEAR, can work their way - for the sake of their relationship - to have sex 11 days in a row. We believe it's worth the effort. That's why we do this. Well, we also do it because I announce it on my blog, and we would look like total quitters if we bailed on it. Accountability can be a good thing.

We will see you again next February. I hope this continues to be a launching pad for everyone. I hope some of you dared to be brave between the sheets this year, and I hope many more take the leap next year.

Raising a glass of coconut oil to everyone. May 2011 be a year that you love yourself more, so that your lover can enjoy you more fully.



Tiffany Dawn said...

I like your last line! :)

Obviously, since I'm not married- I can't take you up on the Sexperiment... but I look forward to the day when I can! :)

Anonymous said...

We did our own! We set a mini-goal, 3 days in a row, and we did it! Considering a year ago we were having sex maybe once a month, that's a pretty damn big improvement :-D Also, it is incredibly empowering to be able to take charge of my body and mind and think, eh, I don't really feel like sex. But you know what? I'm going to any way! And then have it not be painful or bad..oh, so empowering!

And then, as a reward, and thanks to you and Corey's suggestions, we just purchased me a new vibrator as a trophy for our new record (OK, maybe it's not new, but I think it is and it certainly is for this stage of our lives). We might need to make trophies an annual tradition.

PS At Eden Fantasies use the code Sexis10 for $10 off a $50 or less purchase, or Sexis20 for $20 a $50-$80 purchase. That $60 vibrator is a lot more appealing at $40!

Anonymous said...

Nowhere else to share, so here goes...

My husband really surprised me last night by shaving! We have been married 15 years.... I just never thought he would do that, but I guess he likes attention there... No, I am not talking about his beard. The weirdest part was that he said he did it 4 weeks ago. Uh.. Ok, dental work messed up my jaw for a week, but I just did not notice before? Guess he was "cleaning it up" and this time he got a little carried away with the razor.

Oh how silly we (Americans and probably others) are about not talking about these things. Fortunately my husband and I can. It has taken time to be able to broach certain subjects while the light was still on, though. :-) Embarrassment all gone.

lehall said...
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