Friday, February 18, 2011
Sexperiment 2011 - Good Vibrations
In talking with another woman in recent years, when the subject of vibrators came up (because, "My name is Christine, and somehow I always seem to end up in conversations about really fascinating things"), I received a very firm crinkling of her forehead and a chastisement of:
"My husband and I do not NEED a vibrator."
She wasn't saying this as if to imply she thought they were somehow wrong or inappropriate. Rather, she perfectly portrayed that they were so sexually connected that, perhaps, he could bring her to climax by merely looking at her across the room and mouthing "time to go."
I don't know. But I do remember her really, really, really wanting me to feel inferior, and as though I was somehow causing detriment to my orgasmic experiences by daring to involve something artificial. Like introducing a bottle too soon to a breastfeeding baby.
Yet, all I could do was sit there thinking, "'Need' a vibrator? NEED? You don't get it, lady. I WANT ONE! They're stinkin' AWESOME!" Don't worry. I didn't actually say it. She was not in a place of actually hearing me that day.
Today isn't all about vibrators. It's about sex toys, in general. There is absolutely no way I could even begin to cover this topic in one post, but I want to at least expose you to the idea. Some of you have never invited such a thing into your bedroom, and THAT IS OKAY. This topic makes you uncomfortable and THAT IS OKAY. That is precisely why I am talking about it. This is your safe place. If I mention something today that scares you a little bit, just step away for a minute. And there are a million reasons it may scare you AND THAT IS OKAY. This is about exposure. Just to get your mind to say, "Hmmm. Never thought of that, but ... why not?"
My husband and I spend some money every year on things to bring some added fun to our rendezvouses. This keeps us from having to choose between something practical (Zzzzz) and something zowza! The zowza is already in the budget. I get it, Momma's. It doesn't seem to make SENSE to blow cash on something like this when the car is in the shop, and all of your kids just outgrew their shoes. So PLAN for it. Make it a part of Christmas. Whatever works and helps you overcome the parental guilt of splurging on yourself.
Despite the fact that I may WANT these things, I also find them super handy. Some of you are still reeling over how I dared ask you to consider having sex during your period. Well, sex toys are the PERFECT way to avoid mess, pain, etc., and still bring pleasure to each other. That is sex, my friends. That is healthy and beautiful and will keep pushing the two of you closer.
For instance, there are a gazillion masturbation sleeves out there for the guys. Something like the Head Honcho and some lubrication can help you "help him" when fill-in-a-reason-you-are-not-having-intercourse. I found out recently that the Fleshight is made in Austin. Buy local! Whooop!
If you are new to these types of items, ALWAYS read and find out what types of lubrication work best on them. Some materials become damaged if you use anything other than a water-based product. Don't toss the instructions, even if your dude is chomping at the bit.
Several of you have been yelling at me (or commenting LOUDLY) about the Hitachi Magic Wand Massager. It doubles as a ... ya' know ... REGULAR massager, too. I can now say that it comes HIGHLY recommended by several of you. Worth checking out!
I think the very first product I picked up was a little bullet. They are small and inexpensive. Not terribly intimidating, and can be used in a multitude of ways. Make sure you know whether or not it is waterproof. The longer you have an item, the more likely you will think, "This would be great in the shower!" Better to know ahead of time.
I received a free Speeding Bullet at BlogHer this year, and laughed at it initially. No longer laughing. Tiny, affordable and multiple settings (I'm a fan of the multiple settings). For its size (about equal to my thumb) it now has my deepest respect.
There is a friend of mine who is about to start whooping and hollering and jumping up and down on her sofa screaming, "I TOLD YOU SO!" For more than a year now, she has been saying, "Have you seen the We-Vibe? You have to get a We-Vibe. Did you order your We-Vibe? WHY HAVEN'T YOU BOUGHT A WE-VIBE YET?" So, our gift to our marriage this year was, in fact, the We-Vibe. The We-Vibe 2, to be exact.
It came up in some conversations with girlfriends before I placed my order. So, not only did WE get our We-Vibe, but three other friends received theirs the very same week. It takes 24 hours to charge (which is just cruel), so the reviews are just now starting to trickle in. It is a hands-free device that stimulates you internally AND externally and is designed to be used during intercourse. Yeah.
Thus far, it has received multiple thumbs up! There is one setting, however, that is the same syncopation as a cheer we did for my high school football team. It makes me laugh. We will not be using that setting.
For every conceivable preference out there, you will find a fun sex toy to match. If you have a friend who is a safe person you can open up to, ask for more recommendations. I understand that some of you would never step foot into an adult store, and understand and respect your reasons for that. Absolutely. However, you may be surprised to find that many major cities have stores which sell sexual products in a very professional way and they are extremely helpful. This has a major advantage because you can touch, see and inspect the products. You can call for advice from a reputable online store, like EdenFantasys. Or write ME! These topics make the best Facebook messages!
More than anything, don't forget about that person lying next to you at night. They are the reason you are even broaching this topic. Go together. Look online together. Be repulsed together. Laugh together. Let your jaws hit the floor together. Get excited together. And grow closer ... together.
*don't miss out on the comments - gals are sharing help for breastfeeding, incontinence, women who have NEVER experienced an orgasm, etc.*
(photo by Davide Farabegoli, used with permission)