Today I am touching on the magical way a woman's body CYCLES. So, if you have a problem reading about that CYCLE and you're not quite sure it's going to help with the FLOW of your day, then you might want to move along right now. I'm sure someone else is blogging about gardening or cake recipes. Click that little "X" in the corner and keep trucking.
Hopefully that first paragraph was enough to forewarn everyone who might be reading the blurb in their feedreader or Facebook. Otherwise, you're screwed - cause we're talking periods. Hang on to your hats.
Because I have struggled for so long with simply WANTING to have sex, I had certainly never - EVER - um ... EVER considered having sex during my period.
Like ... EVER.
Then, as my health improved, and my love for my body improved, and my self-care improved, I found myself desiring sex. I had always known that my libido was its highest during menses. That always seemed like such a cruel joke to me. I knew that there were plenty of other sexual things we could be doing during that time, so it was a topic we simply avoided.
Thankfully, my husband and I have been married plenty long, and I (BIG SHOCKER) tend to enjoy talking about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. So, this topic has come up and we allowed ourselves to understand it, hear from others and try to navigate some new boundaries that have allowed us much more flexibility with sex while simultaneously balancing a small business, my husband's fulltime job, five kids and fill-in-whatever-small-crisis-is-currently-going-on-this-particular-day.
Did you know that orgasm brings tremendous relief from cramps? Oh darlin - it's better than a bottle of Midol.
Repeat after me: ORGASM BRINGS RELIEF TO YOUR CRAMPS. I did not say it had to be intercourse. ORGASM. It also brings me tremendous relief from the pain of endometriosis! Come on, ladies. Think outside the box on your worst days. You can do this.
At this point, you are either rolling your eyes (thinking, "You mean, some people DON'T have sex during their periods??"), or you are cringing with disgust ... or you have a tiny lilt in the eyebrows with a hint of curiosity. Just take a slow, cleansing breath and promise yourself you will at least consider something new right now. Just consider it. You may be surprised.
Instead of recapping all the wonderful information and resources out there, I will give you some linky lou:
"How to Have Sex During Your Period" has some great ideas, as well as a very fun and informative video near the bottom. Told you orgasm is great for cramps! It's not just me!
I am in love with my Diva Cup, but that's not really practical for actual penetration. The Instead menstrual cup has the huge advantage of not being noticed during intercourse (and intercourse being actually POSSIBLE - my Diva would be a major space hog). I have not tried these! I also don't like that they are disposable (my Diva hugs trees more tightly), and would only utilize them for the purposes of this very enlightening post. I do know some women who use their diaphragm for sex during menses, as well as for birth control. Clever.
A reader alerted me to a fabulous article on Women's Health called "Have Super Sex All Month Long." I LOVE THIS. It talks about the chemical and hormonal changes in our body throughout the month, and how we can use them to our advantage in the bedroom. Genius. These things do not have to work against us. We can learn our bodies and listen to them, instead of feeling defeated and helpless throughout our monthly changes. Did I mention I LOVE THIS?
The Sex Health Guru lets you in on the best position for minimal mess!
For some input on using natural sea sponges and well as some great visuals on the advantage of a diaphragm, check out "Going Menstrual: Tips for Sex During Your Period." The Diva Cup can also have the advantage of keeping everything "outside" nice and neat for lots of not-penatrative (is that a word?) fun.
Of course, it's super important to work with your luv-ah so that they also have "A Good Attitude Toward Menstruation."
Sorry, had to throw that one in. Because some of you are leaning more toward an asthma attack instead of laughter. It's okay. IT'S OKAY! The greatest thing my husband and I have discovered is that we should hear and learn and talk - yet still be 200% comfortable with choosing what is best for the both of us. Our sex life changes as we change and age and our life situation shifts. Don't feel pressure to do something that is simply NOT okay for one of you right now. Talk about it anyway, because you never know ... in five years you may find yourself not enjoying today's "favorite" stuff in the bedroom, and being drawn toward something different.
Just go with the flow.
Buh-dum-bum-CHING! Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all night!
(photo by MojtabaT, used with permission)