This has been how I feel this week:
The deep feelings of being abandoned are huge in our home right now. One child has a rough day, and sometimes that triggers and pulls feelings to the forefront of another child. Sometimes it triggers every adopted child in your home.
I am here. I am present. I will always love and never leave. I am the perfect place to project all of that pain and confusion, without fear of more abandonment.
I have taken a lot this week. I have been beat up emotionally. I have been strung out. I have juggled three very hurting hearts, on top of my own.
These are also the times when the little things seem HUGE.
The !@#%$*&^ ice maker that I fixed last week now has a new issue ... again ... even though I thought it was resolved last night. My rosemary bush is still not transplanted. The shower head is still leaking. And my feet look weird. The longer I look at them, the weirder they look.
Mom is spent.
I have sent everyone to separate activities where they can veg out their brains and just not think so intensely for awhile (or the whole weekend ... whatever). I am eating something yummy and chock full of nutrients. I have put on some of my favorite music. I put on clothes that make me feel happy and sassy.
Tonight I will run away and play. Or eat something fattening. Or both.