Friday, July 08, 2011

Coffee ... it's not you, it's me

I have made a very difficult decision over the past two months.

I'm drinking less coffee.

I know, I know. That is my "thing." My one really big vice I have not just held to, but embraced ... and made out with.

I love coffee.

I love it so much I should marry it. In fact, some might say I have had a more intimate relationship with coffee than I do my husband. It's creepy, cause it's true.

When I pee, the bathroom smells like a fresh mug of french press.

I love coffee.

Yet, I have had to accept some things about my coffee consumption that were having a negative impact on me. I have not given up my java, but it is now in the category of "treat" instead of "food group."

I always go through bouts where it irritates my stomach. That's usually when I do more half-caff or total decaf, if necessary. It wasn't unusual for me to always have a mug in my hand, all day long. Middle of summer? No biggie. Drink it hot all morning and then whir it through the VitaMix in the afternoon and enjoy it iced. I would reheat every last drop. Rarely did any ever see the pipes of my sink.

I love coffee.

Two of the biggest areas, though, where I have had to face reality are:

- how it makes me feel, and

- how it affects my health

It can make my anxiety worse. On most days, that was no biggie. However, when I can be a large gift to my kids by how I react and stay regulated ... why would I continue to make that mountain larger to climb each day? Too much coffee made that harder. I still did my best to work my tail off, but I was doing the opposite of what I know to be wise - making it easier to succeed instead of easier to fail.

Once I was finally able to run a 10k, I could no longer ignore what was going on with my body. A cup of coffee carried me through the day and curbed my hunger, whether I wanted it to or not. This was not in a good way. It kept me from being fully aware of when I needed to refuel. It took the place of nutrient-dense foods. I became weaker, the more I continued running. Before, this wasn't as big of a deal (although, certainly not healthy). However, I finally hit a tipping point, and it was harming me. Even decaf filled my stomach when I really should have been sucking down a green smoothie or chomping through some veggies.

And so, I sat down with my coffee. We had a long talk. We have decided to see other people for awhile, with the strict understanding that there will be a rock solid booty call at least every week or two.

7 comments:

Barb G said...

I'm sorry to hear of your separation. I hope you two can work this out in a way that is beneficial to both of you.

I am awed by your strength. You'd have to kill me to take my coffee away. lol

Nobody said...

You will have to pry the mug out of my cold, dead hands. Though coffee and I have to part ways at a certain time each day, or I will be up all night. I miss being young and drinking it all day and night.

wlhomeschooling said...

As much as you lala-love your java, I promise the changes you are going to feel will convince you that java is a wolf in sheeps clothing;) Let us know how you are feeling in a few weeks! I'm curious, because for me it was a total shock.
~Chelsea

Sunday Koffron said...

Oh, how I wish you luck! I totally gave up Diet Coke for several months (I drank about a gallon a day – no joke) and gained 20 pounds (again – no joke). I have been seeing regular caffeinated Diet Coke on the side for a while now. I mix it with the caffeine-free stuff in to an attempt fool myself, I am ONLY up to about a 20 oz-er a day and I will try, to let to down gently…once I can zip my pants again. The caffeine monkey is – No Joke!
I think I may need a 12 step group!

Kari said...

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Emma said...

Good for you, Christine! I have been struggling to do the same thing for the past six months. I had no idea how much I had built coffee into my life as something I NEEDED until I realized I needed to lower my intake to help my body. It's a struggle though because coffee is SO GOOD! Best of luck to you, and keep us up to date on your progress.

Denise said...

I could totally relate to this. I love coffee. It's not a superficial love; it's a love that goes deep down inside me. But, I don't drink coffee. I quit (again) last summer. As much as I love coffee, my stomach doesn't always love it, and it really does make me a little less patient (putting it nicely) when dealing with kids' behaviors. The only difference is that you talk about running a 10K and I couldn't run 10 FEET...but I still get what you're saying. I don't know how green smoothies could ever take the place of coffee, at least for me, but for now, that's what I'm doing. Best of luck to you!