Thursday, July 14, 2011

Eat lightening and crap thunder

Today I enjoy an opportunity that is extremely rare in my home. I am boarding a plane where I will meet up with my husband. We will enjoy one, two, three, four, FIVE NIGHTS TOGETHER WITHOUT ANY CHILDREN.

When we discovered he had two weeks of conferences in New Hampshire, with a free weekend in between, the looks began shooting between us. When I realized I could get a VERY cheap flight just by adjusting my arrival and departure days, my heart started to beat out of my chest. When my parents agreed to watch our five children for those five nights ... well, I either screamed or passed out. I can't quite remember which.

Saying all of that to say that prepping for this trip has been no party. Getting all the bugs worked out at the park to make sure it runs smoothly was glitchy. Helping my mom be prepared to feed our tiny army for that long took a little extra planning. Assisting my kids as they juggle spending that much time in a familiar (but still not "routine") bed as well as being separated from their parents for the longest stretch yet ... well, we did it.

After all these years, I'm insanely proactive. We talked through scenarios. We didn't wait for big feelings, we just talked about all the possibilities. The kids did some role playing before we even left the house. Last night my mom was awesome blossom and did a "test run" time out with all of them, just so they would know what would happen if someone needed to take a breather while she's in charge.

My kids have a lot of concerns, so I have tried (not always patiently) to answer every single, solitary question they have about their schedules and what they'll eat and ... you name it.

It has been rocky, but better than previous trips. When I get back, we will schedule MAJOR down time, and give plenty of space for meltdowns as needed (we had one last week, so I'm reminded that sometimes there is a little bit more of a delay). I'm reminding them that they may need and WANT that. They are doing DANG HARD WORK, and allowing themselves to have TONS of fun with their grandparents. It's both wonderful and exhausting at times, for their hearts and minds. So, I just say, "Do both! Have fun. Freak out a bit later. Whatever. Just don't miss out on the fun!!"

I say the same thing on my end, "Do both! Let Mom and Dad have fun and keep making their marriage rockin' awesome. Freak out a bit later. Whatever. Just don't think Mom and Dad are going to miss out on the making our marriage rockin' awesome."

I expect fall-out, but I have gotten much better about NOT thinking about it while I'm enjoying the good, wonderful thing. If it's gonna' happen anyway, why start stressing about it early? Have fun. Do the wonderful thing. Help your kids through the meltdowns later. Do both. Don't let one dictate the other. Cause your Hottie McHot-Hot is worth it. You all are.


Eileen said...

So, I just say, "Do both! Have fun. Freak out a bit later. Whatever. Just don't miss out on the fun!!

HOW WISE IS THAT!?? yeah I was shouting. I have so far to go...

Anonymous said...

Way to embrace the freak-out. I need some of that.

Enjoy your time away!

Meg said...

Enjoy yourselves!! Marriages need attention too :)

Lisa said...

Wishing that you have SUCH a good time. You need that time as two, so that you can be strong for all your littles. It is amazing that your mom will take them all for all that time! Lucky you, and have fun, fun, fun.

robyncalgary said...

super like! warrior-moers

Annie said...

Yeah! Your parents ARE awesome! My mom won't put up with Anastasia for 30 seconds (literally). Thus, to forestall melt-down while I am attending the Dan Hughes training, I am seriously considering taking her with me, and letting her hang in the hotel.... She is fully capable of spending entire days in her room, by choice, with DVD player, book and phone, so..... My husband is encouraging this plan..... (hm...)

Anonymous said...

Enjoy New Hampshire. We are having a great stretch of weather up here.

Lisa said...

I always have a hard time enjoying myself too, when I know that a fallout is coming. I better work on that. "Don't let one dictate the other." I've got it. Now I just have to do it.
I'm enjoying your blog and especially your videos. I love a good pep talk!