Thursday, July 07, 2011

On being selfish

I have learned, and continue to fine-tune, the art of being selfish, when needed.

I run away as regularly as I can. The husband and I get time together, and that's important. In fact, it's a priority for us. We are good at working on "us" and communicating and improving for the sake of who we are together.

Yet, it's also vital that I get time just to myself. To do things I want. To see people I want to see. To take care of me, and explore me and better understand me. The commonality mothers have is our ability to lose our individuality while still doing what is important: choosing to be sacrificial and giving for the sake of our entire home.

Some say you can't have both. That's ridiculous. It's a balance, and you have to place importance on not tipping the scales too often. But impossible? W.h.a.t.e.v.s!

It took me years to work through the Mommy Guilt and the Wife Guilt. With that comes the Family Budget Guilt. The Time Guilt. You name it.

I stared the Guilts in the face and found the truth. I found the balance. I continue to make it work because it is worth it. Most of the time it takes a lot of coordination, creativity and stealth maneuvering. But dang it, if I don't figure out a way now that I am so determined.

I'm happy to be teaching my kids such a valuable lesson, and living out how to make that possible ... and good:

I am important. My passions, my interests, my thoughts, my creativity, my doubts, my answers, my desires, my growth, my fun.



Not more important. Not more vital.

But certainly not less.


Megan said...

A huge Amen! Moms are people too :)

Medkid said...

Amen sister! You totally are important in ALL of those ways. :) This year has been all about staring guilt in the face and self care for me. It's not always easy to be so selfish, but it makes me a better daughter, friend, sister, girlfriend, and healer. Keep up the stealthy fight! :)

Tova said...

Yes! Amen! and Hallelujah! I still struggle with some of the guilt. Almost like I'm getting away with something great when I take me time. And I have gotten flack from other mom friends when they hear I have me time. It's hard to balance!

Kerrie said...

I started taking ballet. Sometimes I feel guilty making Josh come home early from work, but I make myself pretend I don't. In fact, ballet got canceled for the summer, so I signed up for Adult Beginning Hip Hop even though watching myself attempt those moves is emotionally painful. Just because I got so addicted to being Out and Moving.

Scribbles said...

I came for a poke around on the internet instead of emptying the cat litter tray. How about that for balance? I know how to live.

(although I'm slightly alarmed at my limited choices. I should probably do something about that.)

Emma said...
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