Thursday, July 07, 2011
On being selfish
I have learned, and continue to fine-tune, the art of being selfish, when needed.
I run away as regularly as I can. The husband and I get time together, and that's important. In fact, it's a priority for us. We are good at working on "us" and communicating and improving for the sake of who we are together.
Yet, it's also vital that I get time just to myself. To do things I want. To see people I want to see. To take care of me, and explore me and better understand me. The commonality mothers have is our ability to lose our individuality while still doing what is important: choosing to be sacrificial and giving for the sake of our entire home.
Some say you can't have both. That's ridiculous. It's a balance, and you have to place importance on not tipping the scales too often. But impossible? W.h.a.t.e.v.s!
It took me years to work through the Mommy Guilt and the Wife Guilt. With that comes the Family Budget Guilt. The Time Guilt. You name it.
I stared the Guilts in the face and found the truth. I found the balance. I continue to make it work because it is worth it. Most of the time it takes a lot of coordination, creativity and stealth maneuvering. But dang it, if I don't figure out a way now that I am so determined.
I'm happy to be teaching my kids such a valuable lesson, and living out how to make that possible ... and good:
I am important. My passions, my interests, my thoughts, my creativity, my doubts, my answers, my desires, my growth, my fun.
Not more important. Not more vital.
But certainly not less.