Saturday, July 02, 2011

Toxic ruptures

"When parents have leftover or unresolved issues, they are especially at risk for entering into toxic ruptures with their children. Parents can become lost in the depths of a low-road state, and even if they recognize the toxic rupture, they will be unlikely to be able to repair it until they have centered themselves. The centering often requires that parent disconnect themselves from the interaction with their child."

"If parents stay on the low road and continue to try to interact, they will be emotionally reactive and their leftover issues will cloud their ability to parent effectively." - Parenting From the Inside Out (affiliate link)

I'm just now working my way through this book. Please note - it is not written for parents of trauma. It is written for all parents. It is a bit of a thick read in some areas, but also gives you personal assignments at the end of each chapter. Good stuff. Loving stuff. For instance, "As you let these internal processes float into consciousness, empathize with them without judging or trying to fix yourself."

Every child deserves an emotionally healthy parent - sure.

Yet, on a more basic level, YOU deserve to be emotionally healthy.


Annie said...

Thank you! Should I read the book? I don't have that one.

I'm reading Bruce Perry's "Born for Love" at the moment. So many insights, but scary.

Unknown said...


I just updated the post with my own insights. Maybe that will help. It's a "Recommended by Billy" book that I have now put off for two months.