Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Reality bites




For the past two weeks, my body has forced me to slow down and really take care of myself. Extra care. Regardless of my overall health, I have to face the fact that my shell is 39 years old. Sometimes there's not as much give. Not as much leeway.

I spent two days, basically, in bed. I cannot remember the last time I did something like that. I had to keep refocusing. I would get stir crazy, but I knew I wasn't recovered enough to move at my typical pace. In those moments, I had to focus on what I did have in front of me. What I might otherwise be missing out on.

I received a letter from a friend in prison. Their unit is on lockdown the month of August. That means they are confined to their cells, almost exclusively. It is in triple digits in our area right now. There is no air conditioning there, and they are on full lockdown. For a month.

A month.

And his thoughts on this? "It's a great time for prayer, meditation and reading."

How do you spell p-e-r-s-p-e-c-t-i-v-e?

I spent a full weekend focusing on my health, my immune system and my emotional well-being. I can't say I loved every second of it. I cried a lot. In my worst moments I was pretty stinkin' crazy. There were bouts where I just wanted to make it all stop and go away. I mean ... rest is one thing, but then there is that breaking point where you're pretty sure you're going to start mumbling to yourself and building sculptures out of dust bunnies.

There was a process to improvement. I had to take each and every step to get there. I could whine my way into oblivion, or I could keep moving my energy back toward healing and health.

I'm still not 100% physically recovered, but I'm the closest I have been for awhile. Emotionally and mentally? I'm at 300%. I had a little love affair with my body during this. I celebrated my age. I thanked my wrinkles and my worn, weathered flesh. I found pleasure in knowing myself so well that I could hear when it was time to slow down.

Finally, last night, I read this:

"Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard, forget to rest, and then begin to hate their jobs. In fitness, you see it constantly: people training for a marathon getting burned out because they don’t know how to let their straining muscles and joints recover. People who try to do too much because they don’t know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress." - ZenHabits

Then I took some more Vitamin C and smiled.

3 comments:

Chris P-M said...

I feel your pain! It is always helpful to know there are others struggling to remember how we need to take care of ourselves (and it helps me feel vindicated for letting the laundry pile up as I peruse the blogosphere once again.) Our kiddos take a LOT out of us and we need to revive. The quote is a great one. Thanks for sharing!

Michelle said...

"Rest is more important than you think." Is that why my hubby has been off work (on sick leave) for a month because he appeared to have a mild heart attack, had tests and stress test, and had surgeon say he wanted a closer look because it appeared his heart wasn't receiving enough blood. Had an angiogram yesterday and same surgeon saw a heart and arteries with NO problems....maybe also the fact that we had people praying all over for healing.

But he is going bat-crazy at the moment as he isn't allowed to do anything (like even walk!) that would put pressure on the artery they used. He is, on the other hand, doing a lot of talking to God and asking Him what is going on. Hopefully, he will listen long enough for God to answer! :)

Annie said...

My goodness! I think of you as being one big ray of resilency. (Does resiliency come in rays?)