Thursday, January 26, 2012

Get out of your own way

Sixteen years ago, if I hadn't dared to move to a city I didn't know, take a job that made absolutely no sense to me, just to be closer to a man I knew I loved ... I wouldn't still be with that man today. He is my life love. We both make the other want to poke our own eyes out with a stick all. the. time. But we wouldn't want to share that insanity with anyone else. Every single day.

If we hadn't dared to move forward with an adoption, despite the naysayers, we would not be sitting in the family we have today. Good, bad, ugly ... horrific. I still choose my family. I am glad for my family.

If we hadn't dared to pick up our lives that were moving forward in the very typical American-dream sort of way, and buy a dinky RV park out in the middle of the nothingness (which is actually spectacularly beautiful in its nothingness), we wouldn't experience most of the people who now enrich our lives the very most. It was crazy. We share very few details about all it took to do this. CRAZY. And amazing.

If I hadn't dared to let myself get close to my first real adult female friend, despite having lived a life with brothers and not really knowing how to connect with other women on that level, I wouldn't have my gift that is my Lush.

If I hadn't dared to fully and thoroughly question everything I had been taught, and then find truth on my own, I would not have several of my very dearest friends. They have radically altered my state of happiness. I can't believe I functioned as long as I have without them. I didn't even know. I was my own worst roadblock.

If I hadn't dared to fly to another state and spend a weekend with a bunch of moms I had never actually met, I would not have the insanely tight circle of friends who have been a lifeline for me. Had we not all dared to do such a thing, this tiny retreat would not be the massive thing it is now. No, really. It grew 655% in one year.

If I hadn't dared to say "Yes, I'll speak at your conference," to a virtual stranger (after a full day of stalking and vetting him online), I would not have the amazing friendship I do with Billy. I wouldn't have a DVD that is now in post-production. Poor guy is stuck with me ... forEVER.

If I hadn't dared to put myself out there and live out confidence in what I have to give, I wouldn't have a coaching practice. That was intimidating. I felt like I shouldn't be offering help because I didn't have a bunch of letters behind my name. Vulnerability has been my BFF in this new venture.

If I hadn't dared over and over and over again, to meet people I had only "known" online ... put myself out there ... took the risk of it not always being some magical, lifelong connection ... I wouldn't have all that I do now.

Get out there.

Take a risk.

Get hurt.

Try again.

Make it happen.

Because nothing ever happens if you stay in your room.
Nothing ever happens if you leave the party too soon.
Nothing ever happens if you don't get hurt.
Nothing ever happens if you never get dirty.

Make a little space, and get out of your own way.

Even if you're scared.

Especially if you're scared.


Natalie Reyna said...

AMAZING post I love it. I dare to be a better me. I hope one day i can just be half the mom, wife and person you are. You are deff the most inspirational person to me. I love and thank you for that

Kellie said...

Awesome, Christine. I'm crying now. It is EXACTLY what I need, right now. Love you, girl. xo

Kim said...

Amen, Christine!!!!

I'm getting out of my own way and applying for a Midwifery Education Program for September ... when I'll have a 6 month old, a 2.5 year old and a 4 year old.

Cuz darnit, I *need* to do this. And I've got a fantastically supportive family.

Thanks for the encouragement!