My inbox and FaceBook has been flooded.
Lots of giggling.
Lots of panic.
LOTS of crying.
Lots of nasty songs and talk.
It's all over the map. As it should be. We are all in different places. That's why it's important to make it your OWN! No guilt. This is a safe space. If you read a post and think, "That is SO twelve years ago for me," then take a moment to post a comment that encourages everyone who is right there, right now. If you read a post that floods you with guilt, STOP. There are things going on in my bedroom this year that never happened just four years ago. STOP. This is a safe space. It's not a competition, nor is anyone here to one-up someone else. This is about you. And I'm speaking to lots of "you's." So, let's remember to allow everyone a place around this roundtable and greet everyone with a hug and a snack.
All in agreement? Excellent. Let's do this.
First, I'd like to share something sent to me a few days ago.
"Just to say it 'out loud' and be accountable...
I hate sex. Chalk it up to conservative growing up 'if you have sex, you will be a sinner/get pregnant/ruin your life/ruin our lives/it is terrible/don't ever do it' lie or a terrible honeymoon experience...I dread it. And even with a very compassionate husband, it is challenging.
His birthday was Saturday. I told him for his birthday, I was giving him sex every night for a week and a bl** j** on his birthday.
I'm playing the mind over matter game and WINNING! (and I really like the idea that I know all day what the plan is...so I have clear expectations and he has clear expectations so neither of us are trying to do the 'read your mind' thing.)
(and, I'm kinda really enjoying it...)
So, thank you to Sexuary for giving me the idea."
That right there. That's the point.
I have other women talking with me about sexual assault histories and how they're working their way back to their partners slowly. Just kissing. Just touch. Taking a bath together with no physical expectations. Showering together and trying touch, but with the ability to stop at any point. Taking baby steps in the direction they want to go.
To start the month, I thought we'd focus on music. Some people despise having music playing during sex. However, for those of us with kids, we realize quickly that it not only sets a mood, but it makes a great sound barrier for any noises which may want to come at us from outside the bedroom door, as well as blocking any sound that we might be making on this side of the door! So, it's multipurpose. Excellent!
I have playlists on Spotify that I have allowed readers to create with me collaborative. Feel free to peruse them. And in doing so, please remember: there are approximately 2,000 people who read this blog on any given day. That is a lot of different sexual appetites and personalities. If you hear something you don't like, move along. Stick with what works for you. Save the songs you love and avoid streaming the full playlists. We all have a choice. So, let's make it under the umbrella of fun and acceptance. This is a safe space for everyone. We all have a place.
Sexuary 2012 - Romantic
This playlist is meant to make your heart swoon. It's a cuddle fest with the ability to move things forward at the end of long, stress-filled day.
Sexuary 2012 - Sexy
This playlist is taking it up a notch. Think burlesque. Think sultry. Think heavy breathing and lap dances.
Sexuary 2012 - Grinding
This playlist is dirty. It's spectacularly dirty!
My challenge this month is ... every day. Someone has an orgasm every day of the month.
Michael and I are hitting Day #10 tonight. Wish us some Godspeed.