Yeah, that's my Halloween costume.
I have found myself, lately, facing several difficult things coming from of couple of different directions. It's what many of us like to call: life. I have also noticed how these perfect storms can trigger my depression. I start to move less. I feel sullen. I find myself using words like "sullen." I start over-using the "flexitarian" in "vegan freegan flexitarian." Especially when it involves cookies. And Dr. Pepper.
These are the times when the crap hits the fan ... which is already coated in piles of goopy crap.
These times are seasons. I know that. I know that my kids will move forward in things. Issues will resolve. The new stresses will be old hat before too long. As we do, we'll find a way to solve it, work around it, or survive it until something changes.
I have made myself stop and take an inventory of all that is good and great in my life. So much. I compare things to a year ago. Two years ago. Four years ago. Seven years ago. Fifteen years ago. It's that kind of perspective that helps you understand progress, healing and my own self-growth.
When you're in the middle of a bad day, all you can see is that second. That hour. You throw fertilizer on it, and start rolling around in the dirt with it while it grows. I have a personal rule: never make any important or long-term decisions when you're in the middle of a day when the crap is hitting a crap-covered fan. Ever. At all.
Maybe I should include short term food choices.
Anywho, I'm doing all of my old stuff to try to pull myself out of my slump, even when the crap is still flying. Today I threw in something a little new. I followed my own advice of dancing with the crazy.
I still have a Gimme who appears in my life from time to time. A crazed result of trauma. Speaking with pee. Lots and lots of pee. It's daily again.
I hate pee. I HATE PEE. It makes me want to jump off the roof.
It felt SO GOOD!
You don't have to dance with the crazy like I do. But try it in your own special way. Get away from what is making you nuts ... or don't. Join it. Or do the opposite. If you want to poke your eye out with a stick, put something glorious in front of your eyes. If you want to yell, whisper to a butterfly. If you want to jump, climb.
And if you want to put on some zombie makeup and frighten the dog, or make your own Gimme tarp, do it. That crap will still be up on that fan when you get back.