Well, by golly I think I've done it. I think I actually have created a Sexuary for the Rest of Us.
The Facebook group (now closed to new members) has already started on some daily challenges. We're not waiting for the first. There's too much good already going down. More than that, it has created a safe space for people who normally loathe and avoid any talk of Sexuary. Some people are simply working on loving and being kind to themselves. There is no talk of goals for sex with partners, although plenty of them are including that as a part of their month. The focus is self. The love and validation has blown my mind. It is a group that encompasses all people from all walks of life. Everyone is accepted and encouraged.
Seriously blowing. my. mind.
Now, some of you out there are in a different place and you want to set some big goals for your sex life. Feel free to thumb through old posts to find your inspiration. You may share your goals here, tell a friend, set up a challenge with another couple, or find a way that works for you.
I will say it until I'm blue in the face, but Sexuary really is for everyone. People don't hear me when I say that, which is why I tried to find the gaps this year. I'm listening to people talk about how they just need to say nice things to themselves, touch their own body in a loving way or give themselves a bubble bath and work to believe they deserve it. That is Sexuary. One woman is going to initiate sex with her partner because it is something she has not done for months, and allowed him to always take that role. That is Sexuary. Others are going to be sexual with a partner every single day. That is Sexuary.
This isn't a competition. It's your life. Do this for you. How it is best for you.
Check out the following:
"The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others" at ZenHabits
"And Alternative to Competing with People" at Tiny Buddha
"A Helpful Guide to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others" at Becoming Minimalist