tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post5212858346968798722..comments2011-04-20T08:08:09.350-05:00Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07276000726366302069noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-42426357325367594662011-04-20T01:38:05.664-05:002011-04-20T01:38:05.664-05:00Every word I read from your blog was if you knew our story personally. It feels so reassuring to know there is someone out there that listens and has the compassion to det themselves aside, to hear the pain families such as us are going through. I only wish that all of the support there is now, would have been there for us 10 yrs ago. Although it may not have changed the direction our lives have come too in these past 10 yrs, we certainly would have felt more strong. It<br />s been 11 months since we made the descision to disrupt our adoption. It&#39;s still a healing process and a story that needs told!Abbeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297979128858632687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-44967621871220130182010-11-01T12:38:37.189-05:002010-11-01T12:38:37.189-05:00hard. hard stuff. We adopted a disrupted older girl adopted from a 3rd world country. If I said all the things I thought people would judge. She is destructive and cunning. Crafty, and downright evil sometimes. One often wonders if having the family pet poisoned is grounds for disruption. Let&#39;s just say I&#39;d never do it again, I regret it, and my family will never be the same. I strongly caution people who are gung-ho for adoption. I too believe that at all costs the original family should be supported and kept together. Sometimes it can&#39;t happen that way, and sadly adoption is needed, but so often, woe to the one who does it. I&#39;m exhausted.Dalyn (AKA The Queen of Quite Alot)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09553803562170918993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-38378804634222564372009-11-06T09:22:10.744-06:002009-11-06T09:22:10.744-06:00It has been ten years and until now I didn&#39;t believe that anyone, anywhere in the World, understood. It nearly killed me and destroyed my faith in myself. I got back on my feet (and so did the lttle boy) but I have never forgiven myself, despite knowing that I did everything I could. Thank you, really, thank you.Helenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02272269592789302233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-16753345858395412702009-11-05T13:42:25.826-06:002009-11-05T13:42:25.826-06:00Well said.Kathy C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02886511489428522492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-40618194025862972222009-09-04T17:43:40.260-05:002009-09-04T17:43:40.260-05:00We adopted three girls, and sadly had to disrupt the oldest. To say it is heartbreaking is just the tip of the iceburg. Its been over two years, but I still struggle with the guilt, daily. But for the safety of our babies at the time, we needed to do it. Our marriage almost ended as well, but somehow, by the grace of God we pulled threw. We lost friendships and some family connections over it. The judgement from inside the adoption community was INSANE! Thanks for being a voice for this.KThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05624393600931145881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-66719954366059582262009-06-12T10:33:35.872-05:002009-06-12T10:33:35.872-05:00AMAZING post. We just adopted two kids from a disruption. THANK YOU for this post. <br /><br />I would REALLY love to use some of your writing on Adoption Connect. I need guest Bloggers. Just say the word..... I can copy what you have written on this blog..... and then link back here. Let me know!Wife to the Rockstarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04028135400498827347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-6596118664502418792009-02-01T09:05:00.000-06:002009-02-01T09:05:00.000-06:00our older son almost ended in a disruption. It was a painful time. There needs to be more support out there for families who end struggling. All the education in the world doesnt help doesnt prepare you for when the child actually comes into the home with issues. They teach this stuff, but when it finally happens, they dont know how they can help.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-36292902694708789622009-01-30T13:01:00.000-06:002009-01-30T13:01:00.000-06:00As a mother of a Russian adopted 5 1/2 year-old boy whose adoption was disrupted I could not agree more with this post. You nailed so many aspects of the hell we lived with and are still living with. Thank you for your support. There are so many haters out there that to read that someone understands lifted my spirits. It has been a hellish couple of weeks and your post helped. Thank you!Traceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01205467844532716122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-6683691723191981762009-01-27T21:40:00.000-06:002009-01-27T21:40:00.000-06:00Thank you so much!! You could not know how much I needed to read this tonight. How I've tried to muster the strength to carry on this evening, tmw, the next day and so on. <BR/><BR/>How much my heart is struggling tonight, yesterday and the days before that.<BR/><BR/>How much I've dug into the depths of depression because of our disruption.<BR/><BR/>Tonight, I needed to hear this support. I needed to know that even though it may feel like I'm alone, that we made the biggest mistakes of our life, that we truly screwed this child of ours up even more than he already was...that someone who doesn't even know me or my situation...cares. For right now it is what I needed to hear. <BR/><BR/>THANK YOU!Story of our Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01617622682686871400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-6644672092051654102009-01-26T20:29:00.000-06:002009-01-26T20:29:00.000-06:00Amen, Amen!rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09764937881855544477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-72879681593610259972009-01-25T21:27:00.000-06:002009-01-25T21:27:00.000-06:00We didn't have to disrupt our adoption but we went through many of the things you mentioned and ended up with an out of home placement. She was an older child adoption with 2 siblings at home, as well as our birth children. It destroyed many friendships but by God's grace our marriage survived. No one understands completely unless they walk this road of adoption and attachment crisis parenting. Thank you for such great insight.waldenbunchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07457166508208134485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-30084210192294530882009-01-25T08:16:00.000-06:002009-01-25T08:16:00.000-06:00Thank you for posting this. The love (the hardcore, in the trenches, dirty, difficult love) you have for these children and families is amazing and wonderful. <BR/><BR/>I used to work in a group home for teens. I know these kids, and it's so hard - for everyone.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for talking about this!Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03803105863322002392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-35374925465791096852009-01-24T23:26:00.000-06:002009-01-24T23:26:00.000-06:00i found your blog through jamie ivey. i put a link to you on my blog...i hope that's ok. this is a great post! thanks.tracey fieldshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15321878695338070779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-72075768315423785662009-01-24T00:06:00.000-06:002009-01-24T00:06:00.000-06:00That is heart breaking in so many ways.Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09604138864893003363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-87809586965152849722009-01-23T22:25:00.000-06:002009-01-23T22:25:00.000-06:00followed a link from Jamie Ivey over to you.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for posting this. Adoption is crazy hard even when kids are normal. We have a 2 year old foster son and I just totally identified with the not being able even go to the potty or take a shower. The aggression toward other kids is the hardest for me to deal with. I so badly want to love and protect this boy, but the motherly instinct to protect my own baby girls easily trumps that...and I feel bad about it sometimes. <BR/><BR/>It sucks that other people struggle with WAY worse circumstances, but its good to know that I am not alone in the struggle.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12529412152802461108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-58821245248035769262009-01-23T21:17:00.000-06:002009-01-23T21:17:00.000-06:00This is an amazing post. I don't pretend to know about disruption, I am just NOW learning about adoption. I appreciate this post as the more educated I become, the more educated I will be going into an adoption. <BR/><BR/><BR/>I also wanted to say I appreciate you more than I can express for being HONEST about prayer. it is so hard to be that honest and I fail miserably on a regular basis. Thank you!!!!!!Tamarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07422562364097941505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-75995567776933792332009-01-23T19:56:00.000-06:002009-01-23T19:56:00.000-06:00word.Troy &amp; Tara Livesayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17612227041383997608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-61340095406899833332009-01-23T18:22:00.000-06:002009-01-23T18:22:00.000-06:00We walked through a disruption w/friends. It was heartbreaking. And they were wrongly judged by others.familygregghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06288666767408425096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-42029693686424912922009-01-23T17:51:00.000-06:002009-01-23T17:51:00.000-06:00Great post.Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11055131545156196477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-47531582763669270872009-01-23T13:55:00.000-06:002009-01-23T13:55:00.000-06:00Oh! One more thought I meant to share...<BR/><BR/>I *might* disagree with you that there are only a "handful" of parents who "slip through the system." A friend of mine who is an adoption social worker recently told me it is nearly impossible to "fail" a home study. <BR/><BR/>I personally think GOOD percent of adoptive parents go in "blindly" since there is no standard for compulsory adoption education. And really, don't we all go into parenting (be it biological or adoption) blindly? We don't know what it's really going to be like until we're in it.<BR/><BR/>I am thankful to God for his grace and mercies that are new every morning...Gwenn Manginehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12738873414360887127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-72667269608395420972009-01-23T13:39:00.000-06:002009-01-23T13:39:00.000-06:00Thank you for this post. It really helped me to look at "another" side of disrupted adoptions. I knew this subject was filled with wrought, but there are some heartbreaking things you mentioned that I am not sure I ever thought all the way through.<BR/><BR/>I think I do tend to fall on the judgment side on this one if I am truly honest, even if only in my own mind. This post has proved to me that I am not sure I really have my head all the way around my "opinions." (I hope that makes sense.) It's definitely given me food for thought.<BR/><BR/>And I too just said some prayers for families involved in this kind of situation. It is truly a no win kind of thing.Gwenn Manginehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12738873414360887127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-2295420030115004802009-01-23T12:56:00.000-06:002009-01-23T12:56:00.000-06:00Perfect timing, Christine! I have a friend who is going through a difficult time right now and we just talked about this a few hours ago. I'm going to direct her to your blog.<BR/><BR/>LeslieRecovering Noahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05959669295237521029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-67837438566764146382009-01-23T12:52:00.000-06:002009-01-23T12:52:00.000-06:00Wow - just wow. I'm not a parent, let alone an adoptive parent. I just wanted to say I hear you and I'm praying with you. A whispered prayer for the adoptions I know (2) that went horribly wrong, and a silent prayer for the families that had to give their biological children into care because they cannot cope any more: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7843200.stmKathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16725763862667552131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-11895142416534038582009-01-23T12:29:00.000-06:002009-01-23T12:29:00.000-06:00Found your blog through the Livesay's (who I also stalk!) and am loving it. Just wanted to say a big AMEN. I hope families who are hurting will find this and read it, and families who know of those hurting will be more compassionate having read it. It needs to be said MORE OFTEN and thank you for saying it.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14833554412629094461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11570547.post-49430600269461010612009-01-23T12:25:00.000-06:002009-01-23T12:25:00.000-06:00Amen, Amen. <BR/><BR/>I need to get this to a family I know who is really struggling. <BR/><BR/>Thank you, Christine. <BR/><BR/>HannahHannah_Raehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02456126190061240236noreply@blogger.com